Security

Sorry it has been a few days since I have posted here. I got in a lot of trouble for putting up the directions to SB^3. My A says it is not safe to put personal information out on the Internet. There are a lot of weird people out there and you have to be careful. I am not saying you need to be paranoid but you do need to be careful.

If the following phrase strikes fear into your heart “Hi I’m Chris Hansen from Dateline please have a seat.” Please stop reading my ODD there is nothing here for you. In fact I find your general existence troubling. There are a lot of great people out there and I really enjoy all of you who stop by and check in on me. It is unfortunate that the 1% is capable of bringing us all down.

I don’t know why my A is so though worried. Our home it totally safe the thing is protected like a fortress. We have this invisible force shield all around the yard. The only way you can get in or out is to use the key on my dog leash. You have to be holding my leash to deactivate the field. I have made the mistake a couple of times of trying to take a walk on my own and let me tell you it is not a good idea. You try to cross that field and all of a sudden your neck starts hurting like crazy.

Since the field is invisible and I don’t want people to get hurt I try to let them know when they are walking by to be careful of the field. I run back and forth just behind the field so they can see where it is and I bark really loud at them to tell them “Hey, danger invisible field don’t get to close” Usually this works.

Sometimes I wonder how my A ever got permission to put in the security field. It seems like if I were not out there warning them a lot of people would get hurt. There are no signs, so if I don’t tell you about the field you are might end up walking into it by mistake and getting hurt.

I have noticed that there is a little bit of a beep that happens just before you hit the field but if you are walking and don’t know the field is there you are not going to be able to stop quick. Probably you will just think to yourself “Hey what’s that beeping” and then walk right into the field. The next think you know there is this awful pain in your neck.

It is nice knowing I am protected but I wish my A would put up some signs or something I am getting tired of having to stay outside all the time to warn people. I really just want to stay inside and sleep on the couch with my people.

ZIP

All of us who have been using computers for a while know the importance of a good zip program. One of the originals was PKZIP. Yes I was not around then so I don’t remember the original PKZIP but I have used many programs like it.

It used to be that you did not have to worry too much about data security. Today it is a different world you, have to watch out all the time. Now there is a secure zip program out there from PKWare. This is great now you can zip up your files and know they are secure when you send them. Do you really want to trust your email program to secure you files. Um no thanks Mr. Gates I am not about to trust you with my file security. I have a ton of files I want to keep secure. Think about it you probably have some stuff you don’t want to fall into the wrong hands. Well I am a dog with some big ideas I have to be super careful.

ZIP is a great utility. Right now you can download it for free. This is not even one of those demo licenses it is a full single user license. I downloaded it and the process was super easy. Even a cave man can do it.

Do yourself a favor if you are worried about file security download Secure Zip from www.securezip.com

I give it a Stephen rating of 8

Directions

I was thinking today that some of you probably don’t know how to get to my house for SB^3. So to rectify this I have created a set of directions. I will can email them out to you as you RSVP (I still don’t know the date of SB^3) or you can just copy them from below. I will give you them to you starting from the airport. We all know how to get to the airport right. If not just look up and follow the planes.

Start out heading Growl
Merge on to Woof
Woof becomes Bark Bark
Take a grrr onto Woof Bark
Follow Woof Bark for .bark miles
Take a slight right onto rrrrrrrr
At the bow wow take a roof
I am the roof roof on the bark

Hope that helps.

It is really not that hard you just look for the big BARK BARK and you should be fine.
I am getting really excited about SB^3 my house is coming along nicely. My A and R did a ton of work on it this weekend. So I am thinking SB^3 might be the weekend after it is completed.

It is tough to tell though since my A is really not all that good at getting stuff done on time. He tends to put it off.

My weekend was pretty uneventful Joey was away so I just hung around the house a bunch. I did get a bone to in the back yard. My A always tries to watch me to see where I bury them but I am way too smart for him. He thinks I can’t see him when he is hiding behind the tree but I can. Anyway what I is do is I let him think I am burying it then I just move it later. He thinks I am burying them in the woods but really I have a couple of places. One of which is under his bed he never looks under there it is a good thing he is not a neat freak. Someday I hope to have enough bones to build my own cow.

Mortgages

I don’t know about you but I am not independently wealth. Yes it is true I can’t retire just yet. One of the scariest and decisions you will probably run into is the decision to buy a home. Almost all of us will need to take out a Mortgage for our home purchase. There are a lot of cool things about Mortgages like the fact that the interest on them is tax deductible.

Although generally I think all kinds of debt are bad, most people make a distinction between good debut and bad debut. Mortgage debt is considered good debt while credit card debt is considered bad debt.

Ok so Mortgages are good things but it is very important to pick the right one. There are tons of different mortgage products out there. You are talking about something that you will be living with for the next 15-30 yrs and is generally financing 3-7 times your annual salary. Picking the wrong mortgage could cost you tens of thousands of dollars over the life of your loan. It is very important to do your research before you sign anything.

There is a great site out there that gives you mortgage rates and some very information articles. You can learn all about sub prime loans, or how to figure out how much of a mortgage you can afford. These are some great articles so do your self a favor and check them out if you are thinking of buying a home. Mortgagelowdown.com is a great resource. I just found out that mortgage insurance will be tax deductible in 2007 how cool is that.

I give it a Stephen rating of 7.

My House

Man it has been raining hard lately. Last weekend my A and R started a secret project. They are calling it a shed but I know what it really is. They can’t fool me. They are building me a huge dog house which they are going to unveil at the SB^3.

I can’t wait to have my own house. There are a couple things I need to get them to change before they complete it. I would really like a few more windows and a fireplace would be nice. I need to get some electricity run out there are well as some cable TV. There is a nice 52” LCD HDTV I have been eyeing at Best Buy which includes free delivery. I am going to throw it on my A’s AMEX I just need to wait for the right month. Hopefully he will travel for work soon so I can slip that charge in without him noticing.

I wonder what color they are going to paint my house. I like blue but I think it would be even cooler if they painted it glow in the dark. Glow in the dark solves multiple problems. When I call the pizza guy I can just say it’s the glow in the dark house.
If I take a walk at night it will be easy to find my way back I will just look for the huge glowing house. Best of all I won’t need a anymore nightlight

Yes I am afraid of the dark. Look I’m not proud of it but we all have fears right. Some of us are afraid of spiders or snakes. Some people I know roll down their car windows before driving over bridges. Then you have those really insane people who believe if they don’t read the seat back safety cards on airplanes then the whole plane is going to crash , Weirdos!


Hopefully it will be nice this weekend so we can finish the “Shed”

P.S. Don’t tell my A and R I know about my new house.

AImPromote

Currently I don’t have a business but I have been trying to think of ways to become more profitable. Stephen INC is really just in the process of getting off the ground. We have our idea, “Nut Silo” now all we need to do is get out and sell it.

As you probably well know the key to effective selling is lead management. One of the better lead management systems out there is aimpromote.

Aimpromote is a great customer relationship management tool. Their goal it to help you grow you business by helping you leverage your contacts. Aimpromote provides you with a low cost alternative too other lead management products but does not sacrifice features. You get a full blown customer relationship management platform for very little upfront cost.

Really just ask yourself the question “Do I want to make more money?” if they answer is yes you owe it to yourself to check out aimpromote.

United!!!

As all of you who have been visiting this site know I recently sent a letter to United Airlines asking some questions about their boarding policies.


Matthew,

Thank you for you response to my inquiry of 3/26/2007 and please feel free to call me Stephen, Mr. TheDog is a little bit too formal for my taste. I would like to keep this friendly.

I am a little confused I received you response on April 13 and then got the response below about 40 min later. Is it the practice of United Airlines to send multiple messages or were you just being through? I definitely appreciate the multiple follow ups but am a little concerned. It took about 3 week to get a response from your company. I bet if you went to a single follow up system you could cut that time in half. Although I appreciate the attention I would rather get a single response in half as much time than two responses in twice a much time.

I am sure United Airlines receives quit a few letters. What is you average turn around time on a letter? I am had pretty much given up on you guys. I am sure you have been busy with the awful weather we have been having lately and I am sure a lot of time has been spent thinking up Jet Blue jokes. Should I assume that every time I write United, I should expect a 3 week turn around time. I am a dog, I don’t have a job or a car so time to write letters .

I appreciate you taking the time to fill me in on your boarding procedures. They seem well thought out and logical. I think I disagree with how gate 36C is being handled in Denver but I will just arrive early next time. It seems like 36C is a rogue gate. I am sure with all the gates United has sometimes you end up with a rogue. Remember the movie Jaws. I am sure glad rogue gates don’t eat people like rogue sharks.


Would it be possible to schedule a brief meeting with one of your customer service agents to discuss boarding procedures with me next time I fly. I appreciate the invitation to speak with any of them in your letter but I feel scheduling a time for me to speak with one might be more efficient. I know how busy the gate area gets during departure time.

Out of curiosity what do you guys thing of the open seating policy South West employs. Your boarding policy makes sense theirs well they don’t really have a policy. Is South West just lazy? Do you think some person sat in a meeting and said I have a great idea let’s let the people pick their own seats. Or were they thinking if people pick their own seats we won’t have to assign them seats. Do you think it was a bet. I wonder if the guy in charge of boarding procedure at South West was a fall down drunk and never did anything until the day before the procedures were due. To me watching a South West plane board is like waiting kids chase after a fowl ball, or watching a flock of ducks chase after bread, It is just absolute madness.


Well Matt Thanks for your time and I hope to hear from you soon. Would you like to come to the SB^3 it is going to be a good time


Stephen





Dear Mr. TheDog,Thank you for contacting us again. We are currently experiencing a high volume of emails, and I offer my apology for the delayed response to your message.Mr. TheDog, I see I have responded on April 13. In case you did not receive this reply, I have copied it for you.Thank you for choosing United.Regards,Matthew KasturiaUnited Airlines Customer RelationsThis message is intended only for the use of the Addressee and may contain information that is PRIVATE and CONFIDENTIAL. If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any dissemination of this communication is strictly prohibited. If you have received this communication in error, please erase all copies of the message and its attachments and notify the sender immediately. Thank you.Dear Mr. TheDog,Thank you for contacting us. We are currently experiencing a high volume of emails, and I offer my apology for the delayed response to your message.Mr. TheDog, I apologize for inconvenience. Here is the information you request. United's goal is to meet your and other customers' expectations to depart and arrive in a safe and timely manner. To accomplish our on-time goal united staff follows specific procedures.Thirty minutes before a flight's scheduled departure time (45 minutes for international): Release any unclaimed pre-assigned seats. Confirm seats for customers without seat assignment.All reservations of passengers not checked in and in the boarding area are released.Stand-by customers are accommodated. Consider the flight in its final boarding process five minutes before the scheduled departure time. Customer service staff completes the final closeout procedures.Separate baggage check-in times apply so always plan sufficient time to clear the departures lobby and get to your gate. We suggest 60 minutes for domestic and 90 minutes for international flights. Your cooperation and understanding are appreciated.Our boarding process assigns a seating area to each customer that allows for the most efficient boarding times. The standard boarding sequence is as follows: those passengers needing special assistance, United First, United Business, and then followed by passengers in Seating Area 1 - premium members of Mileage Plus and Star Alliance. Boarding continues for those in Seating Area 2 - window seats; Seating Area 3 - middle; and then Seating Area 4 - those with aisle seats. When you next travel, if you have any questions about the process, please see a customer service agent who will be glad to assist you. Your feedback is important to us. We will include it in a report to our operation groups who will make any necessary changes that impact your travel experience.Mr. TheDog, we have airport terminal map on our web site. We do have a web site customer support staff you may contact for assistance. For issues concerning your password, please call 1-866-209-3323 (within the U.S. only) between 7:00 a.m. and 12:00 a.m. CT, 7 days a week. If you are outside of the U.S. or in Canada, they may be reached at 1-605-348-0011.We appreciate this opportunity to be of assistance and look forward to serving your travel needs.Regards,Matthew KasturiaUnited Airlines Customer Relations

Vegas!!!

The weather here has been awful lately so I have been spending a lot of time indoors. This stinks I have not been able to any walks at all lately. If this keeps up I am going to have to relocate. If I do relocate I am thinking of Las Vegas.

Las Vegas is a really cool city. We all know about the Casinos and the night life but it is also a nice community. Did you know Andre Agassi is from Las Vegas? You can’t beat the weather in Vegas warm and Sunny almost all the time. Sure if gets hot but that is what Air conditioning is for right. Also Remember it is a dry heat so it is not like being in Atlanta where hot days are unbearable.

In Las Vegas you can keep your pool open all year round. To me that is a huge selling point I hate scooping dead frogs and worms out of the pool in the spring.

Vegas is also a really convenient location. It is such a huge draw that it brings in people from all over. This makes it easy to get to and easy to get out of. There is great Skiing in Colorado and Wyoming just a short flight away. You can drive over to LA etc, really when you step back and stop thinking about just the casinos Las Vegas has a ton things going for it.

If you are thinking of moving to Vegas check out some of these great New homes and remember always bet on black!

Friday

Woo Hoo it’s Friday. I am pretty excited. That means I get to play with my A and R all weekend. Week days are kind of boring because I am stuck at home and there is not really all that much on TV.

I have figured out how to turn the TV on but my A has put some kind of parental lock on the PPV channels. I tried calling the cable company but they told me that they could not help me if I kept barking. I am not sure what they want me to do I can’t actually talk I can only bark and type. Don’t they realize I am a dog. Currently I am writing them a letter.

Speaking of Letters United Airlines got back to me today. Yeah it only took like a month. Way to go United!! You are a multibillion dollar company. Really if you can’t respond within a week what is the point in responding? I feel the letter deserves its own post so I will get something up on it tomorrow.

My Birthday was pretty sweet, I got a nice rawhide bone and a Iditarod racing harness. Yup the same one designed by 3 time Iditarod champion Jeff King. I don’t know exactly what I am going to do with this thing. I have a feeling my A has some crazy idea that I am going to pull him around the neighborhood on his skateboard with it. That is not going to happen if my R won’t pull him with the truck there is no way I am pulling him.
I do look really cool in the harness though and it is reflective so I can use it when I walk at night. Being black I am extra conscious of what I wear at night.

There are some pretty crazy drivers out there and I want to make sure they can see me.

I'm Black

Today I was wondering around the internet and discovered this site of Black Personals called Blackscene. I though to myself hey I am black this might be something I should check out. Unfortunately for me the site is a dating site for black people not dogs. However it is a pretty cool site. You can create a profile and send members emails. There is even a chat room where you can talk to other people on the site.

I was tempted to create a profile but I was too busy today. I did browse through some of the pictures and the one where the guy had a stack of dollar bills in his mouth made me laugh. I wonder what audience that guy is shooting for? Most of the people seemed nice though I think there are a few in there I would let take me for a walk.

This is sort of a niche site but is seems tastefully done and has some good features. It is way better than that who wants to date a millionaire site Drew was plugging a while back. I am thinking of contacting the people from Blackscene and asking if there are any plans for a site for black dogs. Now that would be really cool.

Check out the site see what you think. Remember to always be careful there are some really nice people out there and then there are some not so nice people. Blackscene requires you to fill in a bunch of information when you create your profile show that should weed out some of the weirdos. You can also report abuse to the site admin. I give this site a Stephen rating of 6.

Coupons

Coupon we all know about coupons. They are the things your Mom clipped out of magazines and used to save money on groceries. I blame coupons for having to eat lima bean kibble. Sure Mom got $.40 off but really it is pretty gross.

Anyway with the way technology is changing the world coupons have had to keep up. You can’t really hand a piece of paper to an online merchants so coupons have gone digital. There are a ton of really cool digital coupons out there. We use them all the time at amazon.com


There are several sites out there that provide coupons codes. While I almost never remember to check for coupon codes until it is too late these sites are actually pretty good. You get to save some money on something you were going to buy anyway and all you have to do is take a few minutes to look up a code and type it in. You are going to have to pull out your AMEX card anyway so why not take a few more seconds and see if there is a coupon code out there.

Oh yeah please don’t tell my A I have an AMEX it is actually attached to his account but I don’t think he would be happy knowing I had the card.

Check out some of these There are some good ones. Like free shipping at Blue Nile
Blue Nile or 10% off HDTVs at best buy. It does not hurt to look so I say check out the coupons. Saving money is fun and remember 50% off is practically free

Stone Hawk

We all know that drugs are bad and that we should never try drugs. Unfortunately some people do try then and end up getting hooked and can not get clean by themselves.

Fortunately there are some great places out there that try to help. My R is a big fan of that show intervention on A&E. Personally I don’t really like it but, I like to see the addicts try to get clean.

There is a really cool place in Michigan for drug rehab. They have a really nice campus with a lake where you can go fishing. There is even a pool table where recovering addicts can play pool. Sure these things are all great but what is really important is that the staff cares.

I have never meet anyone at Stone Hawk and I really hope I never have to meet anyone from out there. Drugs are very scary and it is really sad what they are doing to society on a macro scale but even scarier what they do to families on the Micro Scale.

Hopefully you will never have to pick a rehab center. Stone Hawk seems like a good place. Obviously you would have too look at their success rates and really understand their program. If were ever going to Central Michigan I would consider going to Stone Hawk if it were not a rehabilitation center. It looks like a really fun place.

I allowing people to try and get better in a beautiful place is a good idea. Nature can be so awe inspiring, take a look at me I am living proof.

At Stone Hawk not only can you get clean but you can go fishing. Man I want to go swimming in that lake.

Hopefully you will never need to and fortunately I can not write from experience but Stone Hawk seems like a place to look into if god forbid you ever need to.

Don’t worry they offer financing. Really no matter what is cost getting you loved one clean is worth it.

I won woo Hoo 500,000 Euros

Wow I just won 500,000 Euros. This is awesome Stupendeous in fact. All I have to do it claim it in person or use the Attorney Tony Smit to do it for me. Since United Airlines has yet to reply to my email I don’t think I want to fly to the Netherlands. I am still a little freaked out about expedited boarding so I am going to go with Tony Smit.

Tony Smit must be a great attorney. I checked out his website counsultant.com and it lists all kinds of different consultants you can hire. He is so good he does not even need a phone number or address just an email. Wow he must be good to only need an email address. I think Tony is definitely the right choice. I wonder if he is going to need to know my account numbers to transfer the funds. I hope they can do a wire transfer. Those are so much more convenient.

A huge novelty check would be cool but since I am not going in person it might be tough to get. I don’t want the postman destroying my mailbox trying to shove a 3ftx4ft cardboard check in there. Do they even have envelops that fit those checks? How do you get them into the deposit slot of the ATM? I bet you have to fold them a bunch of times. Remember you can only fold a piece of paper in half 8 times. I wonder if that would make it small enough.

I am so excited, I am going to buy some new bones after I pay my A back for the Seatbelt incident of course.

I am going to send Tony and email today to get the ball rolling. Wow 20 mins ago I was just a dog now I am a dog with a lawyer who is going to be get 500,000 Euros. My A is going to be so proud. Hey does anyone know how much a Euro is worth?

/******************************************************************/

Glo Loterij

E-mail: inf.lot@hotmail.com

Laan van Hoornwijck

552289 DG Rijswijk, Netherlands.

Ref.: 0011G752-07

Batch: 11E966W07

Dear Winner,

This is to inform you of your winning in our special Lottery held on March 2007. You are formally approved to receive 500 Thousand Euros as prize. No tickets were sold for this, therefore Winners were randomly chosen by an automated system, drawn from 300 thousand company and individual e-mail addresses global.

You are warned to keep your winning information safely until you have your funds claimed. This is to curb double claiming and undue abuses of this promotional program by unscrupulous individuals.

You are to either;

1. Claim it in person. Or

2. Use service of the below attorney we recommend if you cannot travel due to personal reasons.

Tony Smit tonsm@consultant.com Please, to avoid delays or complications, remember to quote your Reference and Batch numbers to the attorney. And also be informed that all winnings must be claimed within THREE weeks from the date of this Notice. All unclaimed prizes will be null and void.Congratulations once more from our staff members and thank you for being part of our promotional lottery program.

Note: Under 18yrs is automatically disqualified.

Best wishes,

Mr. Johan Peters

Management

Yikes!!!!

So My A and R were away this weekend. My A had a work thing. I think it was the North American Manager’s meeting or something equally as fun sounding. It was in Orlando which we all know if the home of Disney World and Sea World. I did not get to go.

I stayed home. I had a sleep over at Joey’s on Thursday night. It was really cool I got there around 9:15pm and Joey and I wrestled for a while. It was so hard to sleep. Friday when we got up Joey’s S made us breakfast and then we went outside and played for a few hours. It was very fun.

Around 2pm Sparky’s K came over and took me to their house. They live next door to Joey. I stayed there for the next couple of days. It was cool I got to play with Sparky’s people and got to go over and see Joey and his people when I wanted. I even stayed at Joey’s house when Sparky’s people had some stuff they needed to do. I got passed around a lot but everyone took really good care of me and I had a lot of fun.

My A picked me up on Tuesday morning and it was great to see him. The only problem is that while he was in Orlando he went to Sea World and saw all the trained animals. Unfortunately for me I think he has some big ideas now. I have this bad feeling he is going to step up my training and try and get me to do some of the tricks he saw. I am totally drawing the line at running around and balancing him on my nose. That trick is ok if you are a 3 ton killer whale but it is not for me. Hopefully my R will be able to give him a reality check.

I guess it might be a good thing that Joey’s R has not built our pool yet. By the time Joey’s R get the pool done hopefully my A will have forgotten about the whales and dolphins.

While it is true that clicker training or more precisely operant conditioning to train dogs was popularized by Karen Prior a former dolphin trainer. Dogs can’t do the same tricks as whales and dolphins we don’t swim as fast and can’t hold our breath as long. If we had a pool I bet my A would be trying to get me to swim around with him standing on my back. Although we can be trained the same way we can’t do the same tricks. That is an important distinction and one we should all remember. Dogs and Marine mammals don’t do the same tricks!!!

Hopefully my A won’t get too carried away.