Joey Does it!!!!!

The Internet has me in a bad mood today. I am generally overwhelmed with the conglomeration of stupidity out there. I hate to say it but there are some people who should not have a voice. I don’t really want to go into detail. I will get over it and I am moving on. Wheew now I feel a little better.

As you all know I have been busy with my weather experiments and my quest to collect all, your throw away votes. Is there a more trusted leader than a dog? Dogs are tasked with leading blind people across streets what better vote of confidence is there than someone stepping out into traffic without looking and knowing their dog will keep them safe.

With all these things going on I have been very busy and have sort of lost track of what my pals have been doing. It turns out my best buddy Joey has been working on a project of his own lately.

It seems that there are invisible barriers around all the homes in our neighborhood. It is weird you will be minding your own business then like 3 feet before you get to the barrier you hear a beeping sound. If you don’t turn around and just ignore the beeping a few seconds later your neck will hit that barrier and you will feel this weird pain like a bee sting. It is really not pleasant.

The weird thing is that when I am with my A or R they can lead me through the barrier with no problem, but if I try to go through the same spot without them it does not work. Believe me I have tried everything. It seems to me that the gap must be constantly moving. I have a feeling the barrier is visible to humans but not dogs, which would explain why it is so easy for my A and R to get through it. I wonder if it has something to do with color. We dogs don’t see color anywhere near as well as people so I am guess this has something to do with me not being able to see the opening in the barrier.

Now the other day I was walking by Joey’s house and he walked out into the road to say “Hi” to me. I was shocked. “Joey how did you get through the barrier?” he told me he had figured it out. Apparently in order to get out of Joey’s yard all you need to do it locate gap in the barrier which can be done by watching birds. Apparently when birds fly over the house they use the barrier gaps. The birds always fly above the gaps so if you can run under the bird you can get out of the yard.

Joey is so lucky. He has been taking himself for walks, he gets to visit people when they walk by and he has even been going over to visit muddy next door. As soon as I get some time I am going to see if the bird trick works for the barrier around my house. I have noticed it does work for getting into Joey’s yard so I am hopeful it will work in my yard.

I am hoping that this system works for all the yards in my neighborhood and not just Joey’s yard. I can’t wait to be able to get out at night and go visit Mr. Mailbox. I am so going to figure out what he is getting in that ridiculous mailbox. I can understand locking up your house or your car but your mail, come on. I wonder if Mr. Mailbox knows that anyone can stop his mail. All you have to do is go to USPS.com and fill out the stop mail form. They never even ask you to prove it is really your mail you are stopping. Well it looks like I have some work to do over at USPS.com. Remember if you don’t know who to vote for vote dog.

Where are you Mr. Noland

Dear Mr. Noland,

I just wanted to follow up on my letter of Aug 13, 2008. As I had expressed in my previous letter I am very interested in talking to you about the Financial Service Representative position at Strategic Financial Partners (SFP).

I am wondering why you have not responded to my previous letter. In you initial email you stated that based on my background I would be a “Great Fit” for the position as well as stating that you were “looking forward to the opportunity to meet me soon’

Based on this I find it puzzling that you have not replied to my most recent email. Has something changed? Have you filled the position? Hopefully you have not been sick. I really hope you have not been sick. My A had the flu a couple months ago and he was in bed for a week I felt so bad for him.

You might be interested to know that recently I was awarded a certificate for sun bathing and pool watching from my Doggie Day Care. That is right I was recognized for my outstanding abilities in these areas. I wanted to bring this to your attention as it is currently not on my resume yet. If I can be recognized for sunbathing imagine what I can do in financial services. I just need an opportunity. Once I get the job I am sure I my A will need to get a bigger fridge just to hang all my SFP awards. Notice how I have already switched over to using the SFP acronym. I am already increasing my productivity and I don’t even work there yet.


Please let me know what the current status of this position is. I am a little concerned that something has changed and I am not longer in the running, The only two things I can think of are the fact that I am a dog and that I am black. Obviously being a dog is not an issue. You did review my resume where it is obvious I am a dog and you came away impressed so I don’t think this is an issue. I also don’t believe it has anything to do with me being black. I believe SFP is an equal opportunity employer and while there are still a very small number bigoted companies out there I don’t SFP is one of them. I have nothing but respect for you company. Thus I am baffled

I would like to assume that you have just been busy and have not been able to get back to me. I was also able to get my A to agree to give me a ride to you office on Wed Oct 15th. I will have to skip doggie day care that day but if that is what it takes to become a Financial Services Representative then so be it. Mr. Noland I am willing to do what it takes to land this position.

Please contact me soon as my schedule is filling up quickly. I have recently declared my candidacy for 2008. I am running as a write in candidate for all open offices. Basically you know how there are always one or two races where you don’t care say the race for bursar. What the heck is a bursar anyway and who is Mary O’Connel. Rather than just voting for Mary I want people to write in Stephen TheDog. Obviously if you know Mary and know she does a good job vote for her just don’t vote blind. I don’t expect to win anything I just want people to think about their votes and not just vote blindly. I even have a couple of slogans

“If you are going to vote blind then vote dog” “Stephen TheDog the seeing eye dog for the democratic process”

I sincerely hope you did not have the flu.

I look forward to meeting you and promise not to lick your face at least not until I get the job.

Stephen




P.S. Can I get an autographed photo.