I entered Drew's Unlitimate Fry Sauce Contest

Well election day is coming I have been campaigning hard and I hope I can count on your vote. As you know by now a vote for Stephen TheDog is a vote for America.

As you may or may not know my pal Drew is running a contest to find the ultimate fry sauce. I tend to like to annoy I mean support Drew in his contest efforts and for this reason I will be entering Drew’s Ultimate Fry Sauce Recipe Contest
Drew’s Ultimate Fry Sauce Recipe Contest. or UFSRC for short.

I think I have a pretty good shot at actually winning this thing. As a dog I tend to eat a lot of weird stuff. Recently I have been eating the pumpkins my R put out on the front steps for me. While there are pretty good I don’t think I want to be known as Stephen Stephen pumkin eater. I just don’t like pumpkins that much.

Last Tuesday night I ate and entire bag of Halls defense vitamin C drops including the wrappers. I figured it is cold and flu season and with the election coming up I need to do everything I can to stay health. Once you get through about 15 your tongue goes numb which is really kind of cool actually. You should try drinking water from a bowl on the floor with a numb tongue sometime it is awesome.

Since I have been experience a ton of unique flavors (don’t worry I have never eaten my own poop unlike some dogs I know) I figure people will love my Fry Sauce Recipe. I don’t really get to eat a lot of fries but when I do get them I always use Stephen’s Super Secret Fry Sauce. Unlike Duke of Bushes baked beans I am not trying to sell this recipe I am giving it away as a gift to the world.

Well Here we go

Stephen’s Super Secret Fry Sauce Recipe SSSFSR

Ingredients:
1 gallon Hellman’s mayo
2.9 Quarts Heinz Catsup (not Ketchup)
1 TSP Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1 Spanish Red Onion
1 Green Chillie
1 Blue Halls Vapor Action Cough Drop (not sugar free)
¼ Cupper Coarse black pepper
¼ Keltic Sea Salt


Roast onion in oven at 325 for 15mins.

Place onion and Mayo in a large bucket and let sit for 20 min. Make sure the onion is still hot when you add the mayo.

Add diced Green Chilli and mix 100 strokes with a wooden spoon coated in olive oil


Slowly add Catsup (making sure you not using Ketchup)

Sprinkle in Salt and Pepper

Stir 100 more strokes with wooden spoon (This allows the onion flavor to permeate into the Sauce)

Heat mixture to 135 degrees and hold temperature constant for 3 hours

After 3 hours add the Halls Blue Cough drops to the bottom of the mixture increase temperature to 150 degrees and allow the vapor action to work for an hour

Remove for heat stir 500 strokes and serve immediately. Quantities not used can be stored in zip-lock bags and distributed to friends.

Recipe makes 100 servings. Which is a lot of sauce but well worth it.

Response to nabisco

Dear Kim,

Thanks so much for responding to my inquiry about creating double stuff Nutter Butter’s. I realize that you have an “unsolicited ideas” policy in place which allows you to take in some outside ideas. In reading your response I did not get a feeling that you were onboard with the double Stuff Nutter Butters.

This is a phenomenal idea and needs to be brought to fruition. Once the 2008 election is over I am going to focus all my energies on bringing the double stuff nutter butter to the world. This is an idea I truly believe in and I am willing to do whatever it take to make it a reality. As much as I don’t want to live in a world without love I would also prefer not to live in a world without double stuff nutter butters (DSNB).

That being said I am offering my services to Nabisco as either a consultant or a full-time employee. I don’t want anything more that the opportunity to bring the world DSNBs. I know I will never match the contributions of Jonus Salk or Edward Teller but I would be content with my legacy being the DSNB.

Feel free to adopt the acronym on the packaging. I feel the term DSNB has street cred which will go a long way toward increasing the demographic of your consumers. As you probably well know the Peanut butter segment of the cookie market is under served and full of a lot of crappy products. The DSNB will not only fill this niche but is an easy product line expansion for Nabisco. I am happy to head up this effort. All you need to do it tell me where my office is and when I can meet my team.

Please also enter the DSNB team into the Nabisco corporate softball league. As you can imagine the DSNB team will be a bunch of go getters and I feel there is nothing more important than team building. One of my first missions on the DSNB team after explaining why there is a dog in charge of the project will be to develop a strong sense of team unity. I want these people to be as passionate about the team and DSNBs and I am.

I am attaching my resume as a formality. Please let me know when you have made the necessary arrangements for my arrival.

Thanks


Stephen TheDog
Project Manager DSNB line
stephenthedog@nabisco.com




/***********************************************************************************
Original response from Nabisco









Hi Stephen,


Thank you for visiting http://www.nabiscoworld.com/.

I appreciate you taking the time to let us know how much you enjoyed NUTTER BUTTER
Peanut Butter Sandwich Cookies. We take great pride in providing high quality
products that are convenient, taste good, and add nutritional value.

I also wanted to take a moment to address the idea you shared with us. As you might
know, we have a new "unsolicited ideas" policy that allows Kraft to consider some
types of ideas (mainly for new products and packaging innovations) submitted by
consumers. However, our policy does not cover unsolicited ideas regarding: product
line extensions, packaging changes, advertising, promotions and recipes ideas.

So, those types of ideas are not sent along to our new "Innovations Team," who is
responsible for analyzing unsolicited ideas under our new policy.

But, we do want you to know that comments shared by our consumers can be very
helpful to Kraft. Various Kraft teams do review comments such as yours, which help
us identify consumer trends, preferences and needs.

Again, we appreciate you contacting us and applaud both your creativity and loyalty.

If you haven’t done so already, please add our site to your favorites and visit us
again soon!

Kim McMiller
Associate Director, Consumer Relations

~~TLXEA_18156034~~N

Letter to Nabisco

Dear Nabisco,

My name is Stephen and I am a 3 year old Golden Retriever poodle cross. Some people refer to my kind as a goldendoodle but I prefer to refer to myself as a GRPC. I am sure you guys get a ton of letters but I am sure you have never received one from a dog who is running for office. That is right I am running for all office in the 2008 election. I don’t want to bore you but feel free to check out my website if you would like more information on my 2008 campaign. http://stephenthedog.blogspot.com/2008/08/stephen-dog-declares-for-2008.html

I am sure that you are finding all of this fascinating but I sense I am losing your attention. Yeah I know you have lost the initial thrill of having opening a letter from a GRPC and your eyes are starting to glaze over. Well please stay with me for a moment because I have an idea that is going to change you life and I am going to share it with you for free.

I often come up with great ideas and I try to market them, you see as a dog it is difficult to develop a steady stream of income. I used to work for Ted Murphy writing ad copy for Goth dating sites but that business has sort of dried up. I guess if your Goth dating site works too well eventually you match up all the Goths and they no longer need dating sites. I bet you guys are glad you are in the food industry everyone needs food. While it is rewarding to help people dressed in black find true love I would imagine feeding the world is much more rewarding.

My A ,that is the guy that lets me outside and feeds me, loves you NutterButter cookies. I can’t blame him while I have never had the opportunity to sample then they smell so good. It is also genius that you made them look like peanuts that way people get a visual impression of what they are going to taste like. Someday I will get an opportunity to taste these great cookies. The problem I am having is my A tends to eat then so quickly I hardly get a chance. He will sit down with a glass of milk and 10 cookies and eat then all in about 15 mins. He never even drops one the guy has some serious cookie organization skills to be able to keep track of 10 cookies all at once. Perhaps you could send me my own box to sample. I would provide you with my A’s amex number but unfortunately the number got stolen yesterday so I have to wait till he gets a new card.

So now that we have established that Nutter Butters rock. It is time for my idea. While these cookies are pretty close to perfection I would recommend that you offer double stuff NutterButters. This has worked well for the Oreo and I think it would be great for the NutterButter as well.

Is there a rivalry between the Oreo and NutterButter teams? I bet everyone at Nabisco gets along pretty well. Do you have a corporate basketball league? I bet if you did you would play Oreos’ vs NutterButters. I would want to be on the NutterButter team. While the Oreo has better market penetration what with the cookies and crème ice cream I see the NutterButter as having more growth potential.


I must commend Nabisco on not enslaving a tree full of elves to make cookies for you like some of your less scrupulous competitors.

Please let me know when the Double Stuff NutterButters will be hitting the shelves in my local super market. I can’t wait.



Stephen



P.S. can I get an autographed photo.

I will let 2ft tall mime brush my teeth if that is what it takes to win your vote!!!

Recently I have been working hard on my 08 campaign. I am so glad my A taught me to shake it has really come in handy these past few weeks. I have been trying to get out among the public to shake some hands and kiss some babies.

Unfortunately the reaction has not been exactly what I am looking for. Every time I shake someone’s hand they say “That is so cute” or “What a neat trick” but I don’t hear a lot of “ You definitely have my Vote Stephen” I am not out here to be cute if you want cute there is a monkey in Florida who will shake you hand for a quarter. I am out here to win votes and show what can happen when we all get behind a candidate. I think the handshaking is winning a few votes but not as many as I would like.

I think I am going to have to do more than just shake a few hands. I wonder if my A will spring from some campaign signs to put out in front of people’s houses. I bet a TV commercial would go a long way too. Do you think NBC will take a credit card? Maybe I could run my add during the World Series. I wonder if I can put 1.5 million on my A’s Corporate AMEX.


The baby kissing seems to be having a negative effect. It seems that a lot of people don’t really want their babies kissed. All you ever hear about is politicians shaking hands and kissing babies. Can someone tell me when is became passé to kiss babies. I just don’t get it I go in to kiss the baby and the next thing you know the Mom is yanking the baby away. I don’t get it what is wrong with these people.

Being a public figure is hard. It is really tough to please the public. I want to win this thing and will do what I have to in order to get my point across. As the makes of the Klondike bar once asked “What would you do for a Klondike bar?”, would you hop like a frog? Well let me tell you I am willing to do what it takes to get your vote. Yes I will let a 2 ft tall mime brush my teeth if that is what it takes to get you to vote for me.

I am in this for the long run and now I have pearly white teeth and minty fresh breath. Maybe my breath was issue with kissing babies. I am going to run out and try to kiss a few more babies before I go to bed.

Remember Vote Stephen the Dog.

Who should I vote for Stephen TheDog '08 Press Release

For Immediate Release

CONTACT: Stephen TheDog
stephen@stephenthedog.com
http://www.stephenthedog.com

Canine Declares for 08
Stephen the Dog officially announces his involvement in the fall election Season

Barkington DE. – Stephen TheDog a 3 ½ year old Poodle Golden retriever cross and author of the award winning blog StephentheDog (http://www.stephenthedog.com/) has officially announced his participation in the fall election season.
Stephen’s candidacy is unique in many ways, the least of which is that he is a dog and thus technically unqualified to hold any political office. While this would be a detriment to most campaigns Stephen is actually using it to his advantage.
“I see that fact that I can not actually hold an office as a positive. I am not actually trying to win but I am trying to bring awareness to people about how they vote. Too often people make uninformed voting decisions and just fill in a bubble with out a good reason to vote for that person. I suggest that if you don’t have an opinion vote for me. I can’t win and if enough people write in Stephen TheDog it will send a clear signal to the candidates that they need to do a better job campaigning.”
There have been write in campaigns before but never has there been a write in campaign where the candidate has run for every office with the understanding that he can not win any of them. “This is not about me this it about sending a message. There are a lot of unrepresented people out there who want to be involved in the democratic process but don’t have a candidate they can stand behind. A write in Vote for Stephen TheDog not only prevents the noncommittal vote but also will show the candidates that there is a large untapped portion of the public who they have not swayed. “
The main advantage for the write in candidate is that Stephen can be involved in every race at once. Since Stephen TheDog is not running for any office in particular, if for example a person knows who they want to vote for President but has no opinion on the town clerk race they can write in Stephen TheDog for town clerk. Alternately if they have an opinion on Town clerk but can’t decide between Obama and McCain they could write in Stephen TheDog for President. It also works well for uncontested races. Who really wants to vote for the candidate running uncontested did he really win your vote? “Show them they have not won your vote and vote for the dog”
In every election you get write in votes for Elvis, Gilligan, my neighbor Jimmy etc. These votes just get ignored because they represent a tiny portion of the total votes cast. However if , all of these throw away votes were added together it would represent a large number of votes. “My goal it to unite the throw away votes and show the power of the people”
“We must send a message and take back the election process”


For more information email Stephen(at)stephenthedog.com

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