ss_blog_claim=bf53c2c2a6b5e4b759eb9b46babec032 Stephen the dog: Cycling Fashion

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Cycling Fashion

I have a question. As you all know I spend a lot of time staring out the window. It is the nature of being a dog. I don’t have thumbs so I can’t open doors, if I could open the door I would go outside. I can’t so I stare out the window, however I do want to go outside which is one of the things that separate me from a cat.

Anyway I have noticed a bunch of people riding bikes past my house. What is up with Bike Clothing? Why do people have to wear the skin tight black shorts and the super tight shirts? The kids that ride bikes don’t wear that stuff only the adults.

I can almost understand the shorts. That seat looks really small and uncomfortable so some special shorts might make sense. Do they only make those shorts in black? I am guessing white would be a really bad color but green or blue might be ok.

My bigger issue is with the shirts. If you are 300lbs and riding a bike do you really need a skin tight shirt? I don’t think so. I do however commend you for getting off you fat butt and out on the bike. That is awesome I am very proud of you and I almost feel bad for making fun of you. However I don’t really need to see you immense body squeezed into a tight little shirt like an over stuffed Italian sausage.

If you are 300lbs you are not going to win the Tour de France so a shirt that cuts wind resistance is not going to help you. Also unless you are in a race do you really want to wear your fast shirt? You don’t see swimmers shaving their bodies to practice. They only do that before the races, they train with hair.

Now I don’t want to just complain I want to be constructive here so I am offering a solution.

Cycling needs to have some kind of hierarchical system of shirts plain and simple. Karate has this type of system for belts and it works great. You start with a white belt and work your way up to a black belt. This lets people know how good you are and gives you goals to work for. I think cycling need to follow this path.

The tight yellow shirt should be a goal, not something you can just pick up off the shelf after the sales guys has pointed out the reinforced Schwinn that will hold you 300lbs plus frame.

I don’t know about you but I don’t think that just because you can throw a wad of sweaty bills down on a counter you should be able to wear a skin tight yellow shirt. You should have to earn it through hard work and determination.

Imagine the following how much easier it would be to talk to someone in a bike shop

Rider 1: “Hi what kind of a rider are you?”

Rider 2: “I am a skin tight yellow shirt rider”

Rider 1: “Cool I am a baggy sweatshirt rider but am going for my t-shirt next week”

Rider 2: “Awesome I remember when I went for my T-shirt. Remember to keep focused and never hit the front wheel brake without hitting the back 1st”

Not only does this solve the fat guy in a little shirt issue but is sets goals for people. People need goals.


At September 11, 2007 at 5:04:00 PM EST , Blogger BenSpark said...

I like the shirt thing. That would be interesting.

At September 12, 2007 at 12:26:00 PM EST , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like shirts

At September 15, 2007 at 10:38:00 AM EST , Blogger Andree said...

You know, I actually think this would work. I respond well to competition and maybe it would get my ass off the chair and on to the bike.

I have daughter's two crazy beagles now. I have daughter too, so I am not alone taking care of them. But any dog-to-me advice you could give about two crazy beagles would be appreciated because I and the cats are a bit frazzled and tired out. I already tried the "let them run free in the woods" thing but they came home.

So I did it to you again because you responded so well last time. Come and see here?


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