ss_blog_claim=bf53c2c2a6b5e4b759eb9b46babec032 Stephen the dog

Sunday, April 11, 2010

I have moved!!!! No I still live in Barkington DE but I have moved my odd to

You should be redirected in about 6 seconds or you can click on the link below

Hope to see you there.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

HFCS Challenge an interview with my A

Today I had an opportunity to sit down with my A and discuss how the HFCS challenge was going.

STD: what made you decide to give up HFCS for a week?

A: I feel that we are losing touch with what we are eating and I wanted to do something that would force me to think more about what I was eating


A: High fructose corn syrup is easy to identify since is a lot of words, it is also everywhere and most people don’t realize how prevalent it is in our diets. To me it is a symbol of what is wrong with our food chain.
I wanted to choose something people could relate to and something that was achievable. You can’t really just give up all processed foods or corn based products easily but anyone can do this if they try

STD: Do you think others will follow you?

A: Actually there are at least 4 other people who are undertaking the HFCS this week. I plan on making it into an annual things, hopefully more and more people will participate. I eventually hope to have t-shirts, all good events have t-shirts

STD: We were supposed to do this interview on Monday what is the deal?

A: Stephen did you get to day care on time today? Yes you did I drove both you and the swaddlepotimous to daycare. I always remember to feed you and I even let you in or out every single time you ask. I seems to recall letting you out at 3:30 this morning so please forgive me if your blog, sorry I mean odd is not at the top of my priority list in case you have not noticed I have been a little bit lately.

STD: I guess I touched a never with that one, are you experiencing HFCS withdrawal?
you do realize I am something of an internet celebrity?

A: I am sure you are

STD: What has been the hardest thing about the giving up HFCS so far?

A: I am finding it difficult not to slip up it is so easy to say well it really does not matter I can just eat that, but in doing so I would be letting down America. We really need more transparency in what we eat and if I fail we all fail. If you want to enact change you need to be able to do it at the personal level first.

STD: Are there any products that contain HFCS that surprised you?

A: quite a few actually, a lot of yogurts do as do most loaves bread and hamburger rolls even the bread I thought was healthy has HFCS. Some deli meats use HFCS, you really have to be careful. I am sure I will find more products as I get hungrier.

STD: Do you think you will make it the whole week without ingesting HFCS

A: Yes I do really this is a very doable thing and I would like to see more people try it. I have the further motivation of not wanting to lose to Steve Walker. I would eat rocks for a week to beat that guy.

STD: Well it sounds like you are on the right track. Please keep us posted.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Home Depot Letter

Stephen TheDog
7 Woofington Ln
Barkington, DE 34204

Frank Blake
Chairman and CEO
Home Depot Inc.
2455 Paces Ferry Road NW
Atlanta, GA 30339

Mr Blake;

First let me take a minute to introduce myself, my name is Stephen and I am a dog. Yup a dog I walk around on four legs, my lineage is a little bit mixed. You see my mom is a Golden Retriever and my Dad is a black poodle, I know you are thing wow what does that make you Stephen. We some people call me a golden doodle but I prefer to think of myself as a hybrid, I have the refinement to feel at home at West Minster and the street smarts to survive in the big city. As a dog I have some unique challenges and my opinions are often dismissed but let me assure you this does not detour me in anyway, in fact I have been able to achieve many things that people have told me were impossible.

I am not writing to blow my own horn though, I am writing to comment on an experience I had with one of your stores. As with all things in life there are both good and bad sides to this story so lets start with the good. I find it is always best to build a relationship on a positive note and you seem like the kind of man who would appreciate that.

This past July my house was broken into, not my dog house, but my family home where I live with my A and R and now the swaddlepotimous. There was no swaddlepotimous back in July so I am going to leave her out of the rest of this narrative. Anyway as I mentioned my house was broken into, I know what you are thinking “What kind of a dog lets his house get broken into, it is the dogs job to protect the home”. Unfortunately I was at doggie day care that day so the house was unoccupied. Had I been home I am sure I could have prevented the burglary, my R would still have her jewelry and some bad guy would be walking around with a missing arm. Alas I was not at home and the burglars smashed in the basement door.

We have a full walk out basement that my A and R recently finished themselves, in fact they made several trips to home depot for supplies while they were finishing the room. I think it looks very nice and I enjoy lying on the soft carpet down there after a long day of chasing squirrels.

So My A picks me up from Daycare, it was a Wednesday I only go to daycare on Wednesdays, and we head home. We come into the house and everything seems normal. Then we go downstairs and the basement door is open and the deadbolt is in pieces. My A seems to think that maybe it was really windy or something, he is not the brightest guy on the planet and a little naïve. Seriously wind is not going to shatter a deadbolt but a sledge hammer sure will. Eventually it dawns on my A that the house has been broken into so now he things well they must not have stolen anything cause the DVD player and TV are still there. Wrong again genius, my R soon discovers her jewelry box has been ransacked a laptop is missing, my A’s watch that was a graduation gift from his parents when he finished at Columbia and a lot of other things are missing. The insurance settlement was over $5000 and that really does not even cover the actual loss.

So we call the police and they show up and take a report. The police leave around 9:15pm. So now we have a smashed in door and need to get it fixed ASAP (this is where home depot comes in) We hope in the car and head over to home Depot in Barkington. Yes even though I am not allowed in your stores I went along for the ride. I like the car and really I don’t want to stay in a house all by myself that has just been broken into, I am brave but not that brave.

We get to home depot and we head over to the doors section. Pete from hardware comes and helps us pick out some deadbolts while we wait for Pete in doors. Both Petes very helpful and knowledgeable, they even waited while we called our friend Rob to measure the old door to see what size we needed. It took until after 10pm for Pete and Pete to get us all setup with everything we needed to replace the door. There was never even a mention of us having to leave as the store closed at 10, they stayed focused and made sure we got all of the necessary stuff and even grabbed someone to ring us up since it was now 15 min after closing time. Pete from hardware and Pete in door are employees you can be proud of. They really helped out.

Unfortunately as I mentioned there is a good and bad side to every story. After we got home my A and his friend Rob installed the door. They had to remove the old door frame and install the new frame since the robbers had shattered the old door frame. Rob is a professional electrician and carpenter so his help was indispensible especially since it was about 2am by the time they had the door installed and the house secured. You don’t find may friends who are willing to stay up all night to help install a door in the rain. (yes to add insult to injury it was raining that night)

Once the door was installed it was discovered that the actual door was warped. This was a steel covered door that came pre-hung in a frame. The top portion of the door is bent in about 3/8 of an inch. Unfortunately the door came shrink wrapped so there way no way to tell ahead of time and it would be a huge pain to pull the door out after installing it.
The door does work but it does not close properly and you can see daylight through the top of the door. My A has tried to add weather stripping but this only sort of works. He is pretty annoyed about it really, I know because he grumbles every time he lets me out the basement door and I like to go outside a lot. Sometimes I ask to go in and out just for the attention.

Obviously Home Depot did not intentionally sell us a warped door but it did happen. My A is too nice of a guy to cause a ruckus or say anything about it but I really feel that Home Depot at least owes him an apology. You company came so close to providing a great experience, my A still talks about how great Pete and Pete were but as time goes by I hear less about Pete and Pete and more about the damn door. I was wondering if you could provide my A with an apology for selling him a warped door, I would really appreciate it and I think it would go a long way towards keeping him as a home depot customer.

I know my A has a few upcoming projects, he still need to build me a dog house and after pricing security systems he is talking about building a moat around the house. His theory is, if you are looking for a house to break into you probably keeping going past the house with the moat. I tend to agree if someone is crazy enough to build a moat do you really want to find out what other surprises they might have?


Stephen the Dog

P.S. Would it be possible to get an autographed photo?

Friday, February 12, 2010

HFCS (high Fructose Corn Syrup) Challenge

HFCS challenge.

Some of you are probably not aware of this but over the last 50 years the food Americans eat has changed dramatically. In fact most of what we eat today is manufactured using corn. Why Corn? Corn is cheap, in fact Corn can be bought for less than it costs to grow thanks to government intervention. In fact corn is the most heavily subsidized and prolific U.S. crop. We are not talking about you father’s Maize here either. We are talking about genitically engineered Dent Corn which is used to make literally thousands of products for fuel to plastic cups to disposable diapers to the corn flakes you are this morning.

Personally I don’t really have much interest in this subject I eat Wellness dog food which is a very nutritious brand that guarantees it never used any corn products. Thus I don’t really have to worry about eating processed corn which is probably not really good for us.

Recently there has been a surge in information regarding nutrition. Michael Pollan’s book Omnivores Dilemma is a very enlightening read as is the movie “Food Inc” for those of you who don’t feel like reading.

The real problem is that the Govt and big buisness is not helping us eat health in fact they are actually teaming up to make it harder for us to eat healthy. They don’t care, it is all about profit, which in a capitalist society some might argue is a valid stance to take.

Why am I writing about this when certainly there are far better written and edited sources to enlighten you about corn and I urge you to check out some of those sources.
Some of those sources probably even use the words you and your correctly where I never seem to be able to get it right. I view a part of my job as a dog to look out for humans and to help enact social change on a micro scale.

In light of all this information I have set a challenge for my A. Starting on March 1 my A will attempt to go an entire week without eating any product that contains High Fructose Corn Syrup. We have chosen HFCS because it is symbolic of all that is wrong with highly processed food and it also is a big word so easy to identify on labels.

During the HFCS challenge my A will be updating here with how he is doing and what he is eating. Ideally we would like to get others to join in this challenge. The goal is to bring awareness to the issues facing the American diet. This is not some crusade to eat all organic but we simply want to help people think about what they are eating. Too much of what is really in our food is covered up by slick packaging and marketing campaigns. Before we can make informed decisions we need to understand on a personal level what we are eating. Only then can we begin to take back our plates.

During the HFCS challenge I will also be sending letters to various food producers about the experience. If you would like to be a part of the HFCS challenge please send and email to or comment on this post.

In the spirit of full disclosure I also need to point out that Steve Runner has bet my A $10 that he can not go a week without ingesting HFCS.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Most Depressing day of the year?

Stephen The Dog

7 Woofington Ln

Barkington DE 03257

Loren and Wally

WROR 105.7FM

55 Morrissey Blvd.

Boston, MA 02125-3315

Dear Sirs,

My name is Stephen I am a 4 year old golden retriever poodle cross. My mom was a golden retriever and my dad was a black poodle. Most people refer to me as a Goldendoodle but that term does not really inspire fear so I tend to avoid using it at all cost.

When I was 10 weeks old I went to live with my A and my R these are the people who feed me and take care of me. They are pretty nice most of the time but lately I have been getting a lot less attention since the swaddlepotimous moved in about 3 months ago. I have been writing letters to zoos and animal rescue leagues to try and find a home for the swaddlepotimous but unfortunately it is still living in my room. Perhaps one of your listeners might be able to provide a home. Sorry for the tangent it would be great if you could help find a home for the swaddlepotimous but that is not the reason for my writing you.

Anyway I am sure you are wondering why a dog is writing you. Well I do listen to your show not everyday but when I am on my way to daycare in the morning my A and I listen to you guys. Your show makes the ride go a lot quicker. One Monday Jan 25th you mentioned it was the “Most depressing day of the year”. I did not hear this particular show but I read the quote on my friend Drew’s blog. It is an interesting blog and you learn a lot about Drew and his family. I like to add comments to Drew’s blog but he has this weird compulsion that requires him to respond to every comment no matter how inane.

I asked Drew why Monday was the most depressing day and he was not sure but said I should ask you guys. I just don’t understand is this a global thing or a national thing? Personally I had a pretty good day on Monday so I am very confused. How can we know when the most depressing day of the year is going to be? It is only January we still have over 90% of the year to go what if something really depressing happens in July?

I am really curious how you guys came up with the 25th as the most depressing day. There were no mud slides or Earth quakes on the 25th. The weather was actually pretty nice, everyone I know was healthy and I got to take a walk with my A at lunch, so what made it depressing? My day was not really depressing at all, nothing like Jan 12th. I just don’t understand how you can make such a blanket about the collective consciousness of the human race. Perhaps there is more research into depression going on at WROR than I am aware of.

I would really appreciate it if you could share some more information regarding the most depressing day of the year with me. I would be happy to share the result or some of my weather experiments in return. I have been trying to create an indoor thunderstorm by filling my A’s bathroom with warm steam and then opening the door into the master bedroom which I have cooled to 20 degrees by opening all the windows.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.


P.S. would it be possible to get an autographed photo?

Monday, December 21, 2009

Holiday Cards

Well it is that time of year again time. It is a very exciting and stressful time what with everything that is going on. Why do we insist on making it so hard? I am not going to talk about political correctness today. My right to wish you a Merry Christmas or a Happy Kwanza I will cover at a later date.

Today I want to talk about Holiday cards. A lot of us send them and almost all of us get them. At my house I usually try to get to the mailbox early and get all the cards. This is not because I am excited to get the cards but because my R is very sensitive about how they are addressed. My A and R are married but my R did not take my A’s last name. This causes issues since my R is not Mrs. TheDog but something else. It really drives her nuts when people address stuff to Mr and Mrs TheDog or even worse Mr and Mrs Stephen’s A The Dog. This forces my A and I to try and get the mail first and remove all the offending envelopes before my R sees them.

Personally I don’t know why she really cares so much. From my point of view it must be nice to get cards. I don’t really get any almost, no one remembers to address cards to me. Even the darn swaddlepotimous gets her name on card but do people remember the dog? No they don’t the best I get is cards addressed to “TheDog Family” come on I have a name how hard is it to write seven more letters when you are addressing the card. Is seven letter to much for you? Are you getting carpal tunnel? come on seven letters to make the dog happy is it really so hard?

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Letter to Henry Doorly Zoo

Stephen The Dog

7 Woofington Ln

Barktington DE 03257


Omaha's Henry Doorly Zoo®

3701 S 10th Street

Omaha, NE 68107

Dear Zookeeper,

My name is Stephen I am a 4 year old golden retriever poodle cross. I live with my A and R in Barkington DE those are the people who feed and take care of me. I could probably live on my own but I am lazy and if someone is willing to take care of you then you might as well go with it right? You can’t beat having your own couch and 2 bowls of kibble a day.

I am sure you are wondering why you are getting a letter from a dog. I am writing for some advice. As you are well aware the Henry Doorly Zoo is one of the top zoos in the country (you must be very proud) so I figured if anyone can help me you it would be the fine folks at the Henry Doorly zoo.

Recently my A and R went away for 4 days, unfortunately they left in a hurry and did not tell me where they were going so I was very worried. My neighbors did come over and take care of so I was pretty sure that someone had talked to my A, fortunately they finally came home on Saturday because I was getting really close to calling the milk people to see about getting my A on the back of a carton.

This is the part where I need your help. It seems that my A and R went off on some kind of safari and came back with an exotic creature. I am pretty sure it is a swaddlepotimous. Basically it eats and sleeps and poops and screams. I have not really gotten a good look at it but is seems to sleep in 3 hour shifts and then scream for a while. I am pretty sure it is bald and it smells kinda funny. It is also pretty small and seems to like to be carried around. My A is currently keeping it in this big white cage in my new room. I can’t wait to get my room back.

I am wondering what the proper care and feeding is for a swaddlepotimous. I want to make sure the swaddlepotious is happy and well cared for. I would really like find a way to help the swaddlepotimous cut down on the amount of screaming. The screaming is just driving me nuts. I will be asleep on the couch and all of a sudden in the middle of the night my A shows up with a screaming swaddlepotimous and sits down next to me. It is nice to see my A but the screaming is a little bit unnerving.

I am also wondering if your zoo would be interested in a swaddlepotimous. I don’t believe my A is licensed to have a swaddlepotimous and I think the Henry Doorly Zoo would be a great place for this creature. I believe you could provide an environment where the swaddlepotimous would be able to thrive. I am not looking for any compensation the swaddlepotimous would be a gift I only ask that you give it a good home. I think this would be a great addition to your collection.

Thanks you for you time and I look forward to hearing from you.


P.S. would it be possible to get an autographed photo, maybe of one of the penguins or a lion? I am enclosing a dollar to cover return postage. If you can not provide an autographed photo please apply my dollar toward the purchase of a cup of sardines for the penguins.

Sunday, October 25, 2009


My A has returned. He came home on Saturday after a 4-day absence. Originally I though he might have been out of town at an Ultimate Pillow fighting league (UPLF) event but this does not seem to be the case as I was able to account for all of our pillows while he was gone.

When I asked my A where he was he just kind of mumbled incoherently. It has taken me a while but I have been able to piece it together. Apparently my A went out on Safari. I know this because when he came home is clothes were all messy and smelled funny. He also managed to catch something while he was on Safari.

My A has caught a swaddlepotimous. From what I can tell this is a rare creature that screams at all hours of that day smells funny and is living in the cage in my new room. I don’t really know why we need a swaddlepotimous but at least they don’t seem to be dangerous. I just wish the thing would be quiet.

I am sure my A is just holding the swaddlepotimous for a zoo or something; I can’t wait till it is out of my room. I am all for sharing and helping out the family but I would like to get on with having my own room. Sharing with the swaddlepotimous is a little rough since it does not really sleep and kind of smells.

I wonder which zoo the swaddlepotimous will end up at. Once I find out I will let you all know so that you can go and visit it. I think I may need to contact a few zoos and make sure this process is moving forward. If I don’t see any progress by next week I will start writing zoos.

That stupid swaddlepotimous is screaming again so I am going to go hang out outside for a while. Before I head out I would like to thank C and L for taking such great care of me while my A was out on Safari. Thanks guys.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Have you seen my A?

I am starting to get a little worried. My A and R left on Wed around 8am and have not been back since. I don't know where they are. Fortunately for me L and C from across the street have been feeding me and letting me out. They are doing a super duper job but I really do wonder where my A and R have gone.

I did see my R's parents on Wed night they came by and slept over but my A and R where no where to be found. I called the Milk Company but they said I should wait a little longer before putting my A on a milk bottle. They seems to think he will turn up.

I am not really sure I want to trust a dairy farmer though. These are they same guys who jack cows up on hormones to make more milk that does not seem right. Although Chocolate milk does rock. Hang on one sec let me go check the door to see if they are home. Nope!

Orange growers not those guys you can trust but they don't put pictures on orange juice cartons. Do not enough people drink OJ or did the milk guys patent the picture on the back of the carton thing?

Hang on one sec let me go check the door to see if they are home. Nope!

It is getting late and it is dark out. I guess I should just go to bed. Tomorrow if they are not home I am going to start making some calls. The weird thing is I though my A was pretty well liked in my neighborhood but no one seems to be the least bit concerned he is missing. I guess everyone was just pretending to like him. I can understand that or perhaps they just like me that seems much more likely since my A never goes anywhere in the neighborhood without me.

Sorry there is no picture on this post. My A took the camera with him when he disappeared.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Finally getting my own room

As all of you know I have been working hard since the beginning of the year day trading. Recently I put my trading on hold and have been concentrating on being nice to my A and R. Really I made enough money to keep a dog happy for a very long time so I have been focusing on my family.

I think my A has recognized my efforts because it looks like I am getting my own room. As you recall a while back I thought I was getting a dog house but it turned out my A was building a house for the lawnmover. Man I hate that guy every time he comes out of his house I make sure to bark at him for taking my house. Why does some loud smelly guy who only comes out once a week get his own house while me the cute loveable dog has to share a room? Anyway I am now getting my own room in the house which is way better than an unheated outside house so there you stupid lawnmower, hope you enjoy the winter.

A few weeks ago my A took the bed out of our guest room and moved it to the office. At first I wondered why he was doing this but it all started to come together when I saw the new carpet. He got a really soft purple carpet (I am told it is purple but it looks gray to me) which is great for lying on and matches my dog bed perfectly. My A has really done a great job with the room, I have an awesome framed photo of the Cape Hatteras Lighthouse on the wall to remind me off the good times I have had there and let me look forward to more fun on the beach in Hatteras. I have my own rocking chair and he even got me a huge white dresser to put all my toys in. There are so many draws that I should be able to get all my toys organized.

I am thinking of using a draw for balls, one for squeaky toys, one for bones and a whole draw for my sock collection. Yup I collect socks but that is a story for another time. Even with all these categories I will still have some extra room in my dresser. Which is great, I am looking forward to finding things to fill the drawers. It is so much better to have to grow into your space then to have to downsize to fit into it.

Really the only thing left to do it to get my dog bed moved into the room. I am so excited. I have really wanted my own room for a while and now it is becoming a reality. Usually I sleep on the couch in the living room or on the floor in my A’s room but it will be nice to have my own space. My A has really though of everything even remembering to include a nightlight in my new space since I am afraid of the dark (Don’t tell anyone).

This is going to be so awesome, The only thing I don’t understand is why there is this weird white cage thing in my new room. I guess my A is just storing it or something, it does not really take up all the much room so I guess I can let him store it in my room for now.

I hope my A lets me move in this weekend. I can’t wait to go shopping for some awesome posters to hang on my walls.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Sorry Papa but I quit

Stephen The Dog
7 Woofer LN
Barkington DE 10543

Aug 25.2009

Papa Gino's, Inc.

Dear Papa;

My name is Stephen I am a 4 year old Golden retriever poodle cross. That is right I am a dog. I usually like to get that out of the way right off the bat. I am sure you are wondering why I am writing since you don’t even allow dogs in your stores. I know it is a health code thing and there is not much you can do about it so I am not going to fault you for that.

I would like to start of by saying that you make a fine pizza pie. My A thinks your pizza is the best and I will have to admit it is very good, every once and a while I get slipped a piece and it is awesome, I always want more. I really love your blend of cheeses. I think that is what make’s Papa Gino’s pizza special you don’t get that special blend of cheese anywhere else.

Unfortunately I have some sad news. It is with a heavy heart that I must tell you my A and I will no longer be Papa Gino’s customers. Now this has absolutely nothing to do with your pizza but unfortunately have everything to do with the service in your stores.

You see I am a dog and in case you have not had a chance to notice, I am sure you are very busy being a pizza magnate, it is hot outside. Do you know why they call them the dog days of August? Well it is because it gets so hot that if you leave a dog in a car for too long even with the windows opened the heat can fry the dog’s brain. We can't sweat you know. Let me tell you, when you are a dog you want to avoid getting you brain fried at all costs.

Recently I had some issues with mice, that is right mice tried to kill me by blocking up the air conditioning vents on my A’s truck. I think I may have forgotten to tell you that my A is the guy who feeds me and takes care or me, he also owns the truck I ride around in. Anyway I am sure you had nothing to do with the mouse plot.

The reason I am quitting Papa Gino’s is due to an incident on Aug 2. My A ordered a pizza online, (FYI online ordering is super cool) and we were told we could pick it up in 25mins. Well since we know Papa Gino’s is always slow we waited 40min and got in the truck. When we arrived at Papa Gino’s and my A went in to get the pizza and I waited in the truck, as you know health codes prevent me from going into your stores.

About 5 min after he went in my A comes out without the pizza starts the truck, turns on the AC and locks me in. It appears the pizza was not ready even though we allowed 40min which is longer than 25min last time I checked. To add insult to injury my A was asked to pay for the order after it had already been paid online. This was quickly resolved but what would have happened if my R had ordered the pizza and not told my A she already paid for it? The woman who asked my A to pay for the pizza 15 min later if he was all set. “Umm no I am not all set I am still waiting for the same large cheese pizza I asked for 15 min ago don’t you remember me I am the guy you tried to double charge for a pizza?”

Really come on she can’t even remember that he is waiting on a pizza. It is not like my A blends into the crowd. He is quite distinctive. Well 25 mins later the pizza was done and some girl came by and threw it on the counter and walked away. My A waited and calmly asked if he could get the salad he has also ordered which had been sitting on the counter for probably and hour at this point.

Papa I know you are a busy man but I am a busy dog and sitting in a hot car is not something I enjoy doing. Aside from the potential brain frying it is also just plain boring. I believe my A handled the situation with grace and patience. However it should not take an hour to make a cheese pizza and I certainly should not have to sit in a hot care for 30min while the pizza we were told would be ready 10 mins ago is made.

This is just the most recent example. I realize I am a little on edge ever since the mice tried to bump me off but I just can not handle this anymore. It is a sad day but I am going to have to move on. If it makes you feel any better it’s not you it’s me. I wish you continued success in the pizza business and assure you that there are no hard feelings. While I will miss your delicious pizza pies my A and I simply can no longer jump through the hoops required to obtain them.


P.S. would it be possible to get an autographed photo to help me remember the good times.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

My A joins the UPFL

As you all know it has been hot here in Barkington lately. The worst thing about the hot weather is that my A tends to leave me at home more. I don’t really blame him a lot of places have no dog policies and sitting in the truck has the potential to fry my brain.

The last couple of weeks my A has being coming home feeding me then grabbing some pillows and leaving. At first I thought this was weird. I have no idea why he was doing this, it is way to hot to take a nap in the truck so he must be going somewhere but why all the pillows.

It did not hit me until last night when I really started to think about it. My A takes 3 distinct pillows, a smooshie one, a firm one and a somewhat smaller mid firm one. He also tends to come home looking a little bewildered almost like he has been hit over the head a few times. Once I put it all together it makes complete sense. My A has joined the Ultimate Pillow Fighting League (UPFL). He has the 3 different pillow types, the smooshie for hitting and wrapping around an opponent, the Firm Pillow for those hard blows that finish off and opponent and the mid firm for general all around sparring use.
I am sure the Scoobie Doo pillow case inspires fear in all who see it.

The fact that he comes home slightly bewildered is what finally gave it away. All those blows to the head must be affecting him. It does wear off but it takes him a couple of hours to look normal again.

Personally I am proud of my A, UPFL seems like a great way to get in shape and he definitely needs a hobby that is not trying to get me to play fetch. The only drawback is I am going to have to work harder to make sure I lose more weight than he does so I can win our bet.

I will be sure to let you all know when my A’s first big UPFL bout is. I would be great if you could all come out and support my A. I have a feeling the UPFL venue is not dog friendly, so hopefully some of you can support my A. I know he is going to need the support and unfortunately I will probably not be able to be there.

Monday, August 17, 2009

The Gas Conspiracy Unveiled

I have been thinking a lot recently. We all know that last year gas was about $4/gallon and oil prices were running around $140/barrel. Thing have relaxed a little bit from that for a variety of reasons that I don’t want to get into but I do want to talk about gasoline today.

For years we have been told gas prices are being manipulated as part of a huge Govt conspiracy. We all know the Bushs made their money in oil and we have all heard about the guy from Iowa who invented the car that ran on water and was killed off to protect the oil economy. It is all so crazy and unbelievable or is it?.

It seems that every time momentum builds towards alternative energy something happens and we go back to oil. FYI if you don’t know it yet ethanol is a very bad idea. Growing corn to turn into fuel is stupid it takes more energy to grow the corn than you get out of it. FYI fertilizer is made from oil, tractors run on oil etc. If you believe in ethanol please send $50

Stephen TheDog
7 Woofington Lane
Barkington DE 10054

I will happily send you back $13.45 which is basically what you are doing when grow crops specifically to make Ethanol. It is just a stupid idea but I guess the corn lobby is pretty strong. You really don’t want to piss off the corn guys.

None of this really interests me.

Lately I have been thinking about gasoline. I sit in the truck while my A gets gas. He usually even gases up my R’s car and usually I get to go. The thing that has me scared is when you go to a gas station you stick the nozzle in your car and some numbers move but do you ever actually see the gasoline? No you do not, you are taking it on faith that gas is going into your car but the only think you really see is that gas gauge go up. What if there is really no gas and it is all a big conspiracy? Think about it for a min. I know a lot of you are very trusting people but please think.

I don’t think it is too much to assume the Govt is in cahoots with the automakers. Seriously the Govt just bailed out the automakers, why because the automakers know the truth and the Govt wanted to keep them quiet. We know the Govt covers things up and does not tell us everything but this is crazy. We are paying for something that in all likelihood we are not actually getting, we just take it on faith. Personally I would rather believe in jesus rising from the dead that accept paying for something I never actually see.

There is a reason money has “In God we trust” written on it. The Govt wants to make sure you are willing to take the leap of faith for god and then tacks on a few other things like this gasoline ridiculousness. I for one no longer am willing to fall for it. I know there is some kind of electrical signal that tells the gas gauge to move and I am going to figure out what it is.

P.S. Don’t even get me started on natural gas. Colorless and odorless how convenient?

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Someone tried to kill me!!!!!

Just when you think it is safe something like this happens. Yesterday there was an attempt made on my life. That is right someone tried to bump off me, Stephen TheDog. I know what you are thinking who would want to hurt that cute dog that writes the funny ODD. Well it is true someone tried to rub out the #1 dog Odder on the planet.

I don’t really understand the motivation behind it, perhaps it is jealousy or perhaps just plain mean spiritedness. I don’t really know, what I do know is that heads are gonna roll. I can not sit idly by and allow someone to make an attempt on my life. I have contacted the local authorities and they ensure me that I am over reacting and that there is nothing they can do.

It is very sad that when you finally have a need to call your local Police Department, they tell you to relax, that you will be fine and they are sorry but they can not help you. Well you know what I am sorry too I don’t think I can pay my dog licensing fees anymore if this is the type of service I am going to get. Their job is to protect and serve, right now I feel neither protected or served.

So here is how it happened. As you know lately the weather has been super hot here in Barkington we have been seeing temperatures in the 90’s. In fact my A and R have been running the AC at night which they almost never do. I think it is mostly because they are cheap but lately it has been hot enough for them to run it all night. I guess when it is 84 in your house it is ok to spend $.45/hr to run the air conditioning.

As you know I spend a lot of time driving around in the truck with my A. We go all kinds of fun places like the lake, or to my A’s parents to swim in the pool or to day care. All of these things require me to sit in the truck which I like. My A is very good about making sure I don’t get too hot. You know that a parked car in the sun can quickly get hot enough to fry a dogs brain. Yes in addition to god not giving me opposable thumbs he also forgot the sweat glands. He was so close to perfection and yet he leaves out these two little items. I guess if I lived in the arctic in an area with no doors it would be less of a big deal but here in Barkington DE opposable thumbs and sweat glands would be a big help.

I recently tried to apply for considerations under the American’s with disabilities act but was rebuffed. Apparently according to the Govt I am not supposed to have opposable thumbs or sweat glands. Lets seem one of those Govt hacks try sitting in a parked car at noon on a hot day with no sweat glands and no opposable thumbs to open the doors. I bet they would not last 10 min. It might explain the TARP program though.

Last wed my A and I were taking a ride. I don’t really remember where we were going but I do remember it was really hot in the car. My A had the AC on but the car just kept getting hotter and hotter. I remember thinking oh no I am gonna fry my brain. My A turned the AC all the way up but it still kept getting hotter. I was panting like crazy. Imagine yourself sitting in a hot car on a sunny day wearing a black fur coat and your only way to cool off being your tongue. Believe me it is not fun. This went on for about 10min with it getting hotter and hotter, I was starting to get dizzy and I could almost hear my brain beginning to sizzle.

Fortunately my A gave up on the AC and opened the windows. I was able to stick my head out and start cooling down. Thank goodness my A was there to roll down the windows or I would have been a gonner. I would have rolled them down myself but the truck has old fashioned window cranks and as I mentioned before I don’t have opposable thumbs.

I assumed the AC in the truck was just broken that is until we went to get it fixed.
My A dropped the truck off to have the AC motor fixed. A couple of hours later the mechanic called back and told my A the problem was the air conditioning ducts were stuffed full of fiberglass insulation thus rendering the AC inoperable. Who would stuff insulation in the duct work of a truck? Hmm after so digging I was able to determine it was mice. Yes MICE filled up the ducts in the truck with insulation rendering the AC inoperable and almost frying my brain.

I can not believe the audacity of those mice. Generally I stick up for the mice but no more. My policy is you make one attempt on my life and I will make darn sure you don’t get another shot. I have found another use for Nut Silo since the squirrels don’t seem to all that interested. (apparently squirrels are very short sighted) Yup that is right mouse silo. Yes I know it is a little sadistic but those guys tried to kill me I am sure a couple weeks in the mouse silo will teach them a lesson.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Am I fat? Dr R and I disagree

I had to go to the vet the other day. My A got us up early and had me jump into the truck. I love getting into the truck because we usually end up at fun places like daycare or the reservoir for walks and swimming. That was not the case this day we ended up at Dr R’s.

Dr R is a pretty nice lady, I like her and think she does a good job of keeping me healthy. There was one incident where we had a disagreement. A while ago I went to Dr R’s and ended up taking a nap when I woke up there were some things missing. I am sure it was not Dr R who stole my stuff but I know I am never going to fall asleep at the Vets again. You just can’t trust the people there. Let me give you some advice people “Don’t ever fall asleep at the Vets”

At this visit I got an update to my rabies shot, you can never be too careful with the old hydrophobia. I could probably get away without that shot but you never know when you are going to need to beat up a rabid skunk or something. I don’t know what it is about skunks but man those guys get rabid. You definitely don’t want to run into a rabid skunk not only are they crazy and rabid but they smell bad too. It must be tough to be a skunk first of all you stink but on top of that you have to worry about potentially being rabid.

I also got my Kennel cough vaccine and some other random things while I was there. The shocking thing was when I got on the scale is read 87.6lbs. I though this was pretty good but not Dr R. . Apparently Dr. R does not agree she wants me to lose at least 8 lbs and get down under 80lbs. Obviously I expressed my displeasure at this I am not fat I am just big boned and very muscular. Seriously I chew Joey’s face off at least 3 times a week. Now I know I spent a lot of time eating cheese doodles and day trading over the last 6 months but I think I am still in pretty good shape. I also made $60K, I doubt Dr R turned $300 into $60,000 over the last 6 months so who is she to call me fat. Sure she spent year going to veterinary school but I doubt they even had Golden retriever poodle crosses when she was in school. As everyone knows Golden retriever poodle cross are big boned and very muscular so we weight a lot.

Unfortunately it looks like I am going on a diet I just could not win the arguement. My A is cutting back my food a little bit and I have to walk more. I did challenge my A to see who can lose more weight. If I have to lose some weight then that guy definitely needs to lose some weight he weighs 222lbs right now. He is going to have to lose 140lbs to get under 80lbs. Basically we are going to see who can lose the most weight by total percentage in the next 69 days. If I win my A has to host a picnic for me and my pals at the reservoir one weekend and has to coordinate another SB^3 for me. If my A wins I have to agree to play fetch with him. I better win because there is no way I am playing fetch.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Why did you send me a picture of your sink?

My R got and email the other day from our town collector asking why she had sent a picture of our sink along with the water bill. This confused my R and she ended up asking my A and I what was going on.

Well you see my A and I pay some of the bills and yes we were responsible for the water bill. The town collector failed to mention that the sink was full of water and the water was running. A far better question would have been “Why did you send in a picture of water with your water bill?” to which the reply would have been “so that you would know what I was paying for”. Barkington has had somes issues lately with payments being applied to the wrong accounts. Most recently we had problems with our excise tax payments being applied to our water bill. I love water but I really don’t think my A wanted to prepay $500 in water I think he would have preferred to pay his $500 excise tax and not to have gotten a letter from the sheriff threaten coming to beat it out of him. I bet $500 would really hurt. I am obviously paraphrasing the letter we got but if you have ever gotten that letter you know it is a little intimidating.

Speaking of excise tax what is the deal there. You pay tax when you buy a car, when you register a car, when you buy gas, you are taxed on the money you make, and the money you spend. Who is the genius who came up with the idea of taxing you for owning something. It is so ridiculous I don’t believe you should be taxed for owning something.

I think I am going to start to tax people for looking at me. Anyway back to the water. The picture we sent showed brown water. Barkington had an issue with brown water a while back and the picture was our way of saying we will pay for water but don’t you think it is kind of unacceptable to charge us for brown water. I would assume brown water would at least be discounted. Apparently that was totally missed and since my R is on one of the town boards we chose not to pursue it further. My R does not like us rocking the boat too much.

One good thing to come out of this is that my A and I have come up with a new system of paying bills. If you though online bill payment was great you should try our new system. It is really easy basically when you pay a bill you just include a photo of what you are paying for yes this requires you to send actual letters and costs a little bit more but it is so much more fun. My A has been getting all kinds of phone calls and emails about it. The exterminator called to ask why we sent a picture of a pile of dead ants. Toyota motor credit emailed to say nice truck. The electric company called to ask why we sent a picture of a street light. Basically we are finding that the people whose job it is to open bill love to get pictures. I think it makes their day, come on how boring is it to open check after check but to get a check and a picture of a dog pumping gas now that will make your day especially if I am that dog pumping gas. Linda at Exxon credit thinks I am cute. I am really glad we have private septic.

I have noticed there are fewer bills this month than last. I don’t know why but my R also seems to try and beat us to the mailbox I wonder if she is expecting a card or something.

Dog Shampoo

Does your dog stink? Personally I don’t stink but some of my friends do. Being a dog it is often hard to stay clean and fresh. We spend so much of our time running around and getting dirty and we don’t take baths daily. Even when we do take baths it is not uncommon to take a bath one day and be back to stinky the next day.

A lot of the dog shampoo’s on the market will leave your stink dry and flakey. Unfortunately a lot of the dog shampoo companies just don’t care about our skin and when was the last time you heard of a person using dog shampoo? They figure dogs are not the ones buying their product so lets just get a product out there that will clean the hair. It is sad but the dog voice is under represented even in the products used for dogs. All the marketing is aimed at people and not dogs. I think this is because dogs are not allowed in most stores so they try and get our people to think these products are great but do they ever ask a dog nope!

Well let me tell you
Dogosuds all natural shampoo is awesome. It leaves my hair silky and smooth and I smell springtime fresh for weeks on end. If this is not enough of a reason to love Dogosuds wait there is more. Dogosuds does not dry out my skin and it leaves me with that new dog smell we all love. Everyone loves getting into a new car and sucking in the new car smell, the new dog smell Dogosuds gives me is just as awesome. In fact after I take a bath I can barely take a walk because I keep having to stop and let all the people I meet sniff me. Usually it is the other way around but for the 1st couple of days after my Dogosuds bath people just can not resist that new dog smell.

Dogosuds also repels fleas, can remove skunk smell and much more more. This is a great product take it from me Stephen TheDog try Dogosuds you will not regret it. In fact I believe in this product so much I am currently in negotiations to become an official Dogosuds dog


dog shampoo


Friday, July 3, 2009

Where have I been ?

Yes I know it has been a long time since I have written anything here. I have been super busy lately and while that is not excuse I have not really been able to get to writing much here. I will briefly cover a few of the things that have been eating up my time and taking me away from you my beloved readers.

Financial Fridays
This has been eating up a ton of time. I have managed to make a good amount of money and feel that I have done a good job of living up to the challenge set fort by the late Glenn Nowland. I have been able to amass over $74,000 in the last 6 months but it has taken up a lot of my time and I realized I was getting caught up in making money and have been spending less times doing the things that make me great. For this reason I am going to be cutting back on my Financial Friday posts, I will continue to trade and will make occasional updates on the financial front but it will no longer be a weekly feature. This experience has shown me that sometimes you can get too caught up in trying to make money. Besides even though I can’t vote my A has assured me that govt is going to come looking for me to get its fair cut. Really do I want to spend 8hrs a day looking at stock charts so some fat cat buracrat can take 45% of it and spend it on some stupid idea that is not going to work anyway. (see economic stimulus package, TARP, Auto Industry bailout etc)

Pending Lawsuit:
I currently am in the process of suing someone for copyright infringement and slander. While I am prohibited from commenting on this case until it moves forward a bit further it has been taking up a ton of mine time.

I recently had to take some time off due to burn out.

Increased Vigilance:
I have had to step up my patrolling activities to help keep the neighborhood safe.

Let me assure you that I am alive and well and in the next weeks will be making a concerted effort to update more often. Perhaps if I update more Jimmie206 will stop calling me from his grandmothers basement. Jimmie you are 45 don’t you think it is time to stop living like a 3rd world refugee in you grandma’s basement. I know she makes a great sweet potato pie but I am sure would make be willing to make you one weekly if you agree to get the heck out of her house.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Financial Friday GM take a bounce

I am back I know I missed a couple of week but really I got pretty burned out on this financial stuff and needed a break. Sure it is fun and making money is cool put staring at stock charts 7 hrs a day can make you go batty.

This week we say GM (GMGMQ) file for bankruptcy protection. Wow who would have seen that coming 40 years ago. Kind of a sad day there are a lot of business school case studies that will need to be rewritten or updated. Anyway bankruptcy filing are a great time to make money. The market always overreacts and the stocks bounce. Mind you these are not good long term holds because they will go down probably to zero at some point but they will bounce. My A made a bunch on money of MCI World Comm when they went under.

So on Wed I bought 69,969 shares of GM at $.52 yes it was a big play but take a look at large companies that have gone bankrupt and watch what the stocks do. You can play the bounce if you are careful and that is what I was doing here. Just remember not to get greedy. I got out on Friday at 1.06 when the stock seemed to be slipping.

I was able to clear $37,783 on the trade. Maybe I should take more time off. Hey Chrysler what are you guys gonna do?

Current balance $74,167Disclaimer: I am a dog. I am not responsible for any investment decisions you make. Come on if you are reading a dog’s ODD to get ideas for your portfolio you have issues. I do not recommend using any of the information to make any investment decisions. Basically I am not responsible for your money. Do what you want but I have no responsibility here. Come on I am a dog. I don’t think you can even sue a dog. The information provided on this site is not financial advice and I am not a financial professional. This is a journal that details my investments, strategy, and analysis for personal use. Feel free to read at your own risk

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Nabisco response

I got a 2nd response from Nabisco which is less form letterish

Hi Stephen, Thank you for visiting
I'm glad that you've taken the time to share your suggestion about creating an alternate sized product!
At this time, we haven't had enough consumer demand to justify the production of additional sizes of this product, but, if consumer interest increases, you may one day find this product available in other sizes.
Additionally, it was really nice to hear from you again. I am delighted to hear that you and A are pleased with us/our product. Our goal is to maintain the highest quality products and to create a variety of new products that are enjoyable. It is gratifying to learn that our efforts have been successful. I will pass your comments on to the appropriate parties.Also, I don’t have a picture of the Nutter Butter bandit to send out.If you haven’t done so already, please add our site to your favorites and visit us again soon!
Kim McMillerAssociate Director, Consumer Relations

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