ss_blog_claim=bf53c2c2a6b5e4b759eb9b46babec032 Stephen the dog: The Truth about Haircuts

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

The Truth about Haircuts

  • It has been a while since I have written a non financial post. I have to admit I am enjoying making money there are so few ways a dog can get ahead in this world. I am currently enjoying the stock market rally looks like my Monday play for BAC is going to pay off.

    Ok I am not here to talk money today. No I am here to talk about haircuts. Recently I have seen a bunch of people posting about getting their children 1st haircuts. There has been video and still pictures it all seems a little over the top. I am guessing getting you hair cut is way more fun for people than it is for a dog.

    Let me tell you about how it is for me.

    I get to wake up early and am taken to my favorite store. I am forced to walk past all kind of yummy treats. I always hope I will be given one but my A never lets me. I then go into a back room where my A tells the groomer that he does not care about my hair. He says I am a dog and it will grow back. Obviously this does wonders for my self esteem. Next my A leaves and I am locked in a small metal cage to wait for my turn.

    When my turn comes I am lifted into a huge metal sink and washed with a spray hose. My glands are also exercised which I will let you look up on your own. Trust me it is not fun and is quite humiliating. After the bath I am placed back in the cage and two air ducts are attached. The ducts blow air on me, there is no where to hide in the cage so I am stuck being all wet and having air blown at me for like 45min.

    Once I am dry I am lifted up onto a table and a leash is placed around my neck and attached to a steel rod over my head. This is designed to keep me from sitting down but has the wonderful side effect of constricting around my throat and making me talk like Mickey Mouse.. For the next hour someone shaves off my hair with a very loud razor. It does not hurt but it is loud and it takes for ever. I am then placed back in the sink and washed again. Then it is back to the cage for some more wind tunnel time.

    After all this they throw some powder on me so I smell like a fairy and stick a bandana around my neck. I end up looking like a goof. Finally they call my A and say “Stephen is all set you can come pick him up” You would think my A would come right away but no he makes me sit in that cage for hours till he decides he is good and ready to come pick me up.

    Finally my A picks me up, pays and we get out of there. Let me tell you it is not fun. I have been cold the last week what kind of genius decides to shave off their fur coat in February? There is snow on the ground and I barely have a wind breaker. Personally I don’t want to remember my hair cuts. I wonder if little kids ever want to watch the video of their hair cuts. I bet if they had their glands exercised they sure would not. I won’t even get into the nail cutting.


At March 11, 2009 at 12:49:00 PM EST , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love how my blog is pretty much the only one you reference with regards to strange things that people do.

Just get your A back for the glands thing by scooting across his rug. He'll like that.

At March 16, 2009 at 12:56:00 AM EST , Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At March 18, 2009 at 9:24:00 AM EST , Anonymous Anonymous said...

You look gorgeous, Stephen! You always look so dashing and sleek when you get a new haircut. My A doesn't like having her haircut either, so we don't document her hysteria with photos or videos.


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