ss_blog_claim=bf53c2c2a6b5e4b759eb9b46babec032 Stephen the dog: Letter to Kelloggs

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Letter to Kelloggs

I recently got in trouble for stealing some Austin Crackers. These crackers are great and make by Kelloggs. Below is my letter to Kelloggs.

Dear Kelloggs,

My name is Stephen and I am a dog. Being a dog I don’t often get the opportunity to sample “people food”. Mostly I eat kibble and dog biscuits. Now I am not complaining but just imagine for a second eating the same thing every single day. I am sure you would grow weary of whatever that one thing was.

Yesterday my A, that is what I call the guy that gives me my kibble and lets me out in the morning, bought some Austin cheddar on wheat sandwich crackers. I think he was planning on taking them to work for a snack. I wish he could stay home and play with me but I am told I am quite expensive to support and he has to go to work to make money. Anyway my A is really scatter brained in the morning so he forgot the crackers on the table.

So yesterday I am sitting home all alone just hanging out trying to be good. I realize there are crackers on the table but I am not supposed to touch stuff on the table. I am sure Tony the Tiger gets crap for taking stuff off the table. I was really bored and kind of hungry so I figured I would try just one cracker. I hoped up on the table grabbed the box and ran into the living room.

Once in the living room I careful removed one of cracker and gave it a try. Holy cow it was good about 5 mins later I was covered in orange crumbs and there were wrappers all over the place. I still don’t completely know what happened but I think I achieved Nirvana for a few mins. Those have got to be the best crackers on the planet.

Unfortunately my A came home about 45 min later and found the wrappers. Somehow he was able to piece together what had happened. Darn that CSI ever since he stared watching it I get away with nothing. My A is constantly running around the house with his ALS trying to figure out what I have done.

Anyway I got a 30min dissertation from my A on the rules for dogs. I don’t remember all of it but I think these are the high points.
I was very disrespectful and Austin crackers are very good. I should never take things off the table and Austin crackers are very good. I am going to lose privileges if I do it again and the crackers were very good. Truthfully I don’t remember much, my A can ramble when he is lecturing and I just closed my eyes and though back to how good those crackers were I don’t think he noticed me drooling

If I ever get the chance again I am still going to grab the crackers. Sure I know it is wrong but your crackers are worth it. I would not risk it for Ritz crackers but for Austin crackers I sure would. Do you have any other kinds besides cheddar on wheat sandwich crackers?

Would it be possible to get an Autographed Photo of Tony the Tiger? I am a huge fan.


Stephen the Dog
An Austin Cracker Outlaw


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