Letter to Nabisco

Dear Nabisco,

My name is Stephen and I am a 3 year old Golden Retriever poodle cross. Some people refer to my kind as a goldendoodle but I prefer to refer to myself as a GRPC. I am sure you guys get a ton of letters but I am sure you have never received one from a dog who is running for office. That is right I am running for all office in the 2008 election. I don’t want to bore you but feel free to check out my website if you would like more information on my 2008 campaign. http://stephenthedog.blogspot.com/2008/08/stephen-dog-declares-for-2008.html

I am sure that you are finding all of this fascinating but I sense I am losing your attention. Yeah I know you have lost the initial thrill of having opening a letter from a GRPC and your eyes are starting to glaze over. Well please stay with me for a moment because I have an idea that is going to change you life and I am going to share it with you for free.

I often come up with great ideas and I try to market them, you see as a dog it is difficult to develop a steady stream of income. I used to work for Ted Murphy writing ad copy for Goth dating sites but that business has sort of dried up. I guess if your Goth dating site works too well eventually you match up all the Goths and they no longer need dating sites. I bet you guys are glad you are in the food industry everyone needs food. While it is rewarding to help people dressed in black find true love I would imagine feeding the world is much more rewarding.

My A ,that is the guy that lets me outside and feeds me, loves you NutterButter cookies. I can’t blame him while I have never had the opportunity to sample then they smell so good. It is also genius that you made them look like peanuts that way people get a visual impression of what they are going to taste like. Someday I will get an opportunity to taste these great cookies. The problem I am having is my A tends to eat then so quickly I hardly get a chance. He will sit down with a glass of milk and 10 cookies and eat then all in about 15 mins. He never even drops one the guy has some serious cookie organization skills to be able to keep track of 10 cookies all at once. Perhaps you could send me my own box to sample. I would provide you with my A’s amex number but unfortunately the number got stolen yesterday so I have to wait till he gets a new card.

So now that we have established that Nutter Butters rock. It is time for my idea. While these cookies are pretty close to perfection I would recommend that you offer double stuff NutterButters. This has worked well for the Oreo and I think it would be great for the NutterButter as well.

Is there a rivalry between the Oreo and NutterButter teams? I bet everyone at Nabisco gets along pretty well. Do you have a corporate basketball league? I bet if you did you would play Oreos’ vs NutterButters. I would want to be on the NutterButter team. While the Oreo has better market penetration what with the cookies and crème ice cream I see the NutterButter as having more growth potential.


I must commend Nabisco on not enslaving a tree full of elves to make cookies for you like some of your less scrupulous competitors.

Please let me know when the Double Stuff NutterButters will be hitting the shelves in my local super market. I can’t wait.



Stephen



P.S. can I get an autographed photo.