Letter to Henry Doorly Zoo

Stephen The Dog

7 Woofington Ln

Barktington DE 03257

Zookeeper

Omaha's Henry Doorly Zoo®

3701 S 10th Street

Omaha, NE 68107

Dear Zookeeper,

My name is Stephen I am a 4 year old golden retriever poodle cross. I live with my A and R in Barkington DE those are the people who feed and take care of me. I could probably live on my own but I am lazy and if someone is willing to take care of you then you might as well go with it right? You can’t beat having your own couch and 2 bowls of kibble a day.

I am sure you are wondering why you are getting a letter from a dog. I am writing for some advice. As you are well aware the Henry Doorly Zoo is one of the top zoos in the country (you must be very proud) so I figured if anyone can help me you it would be the fine folks at the Henry Doorly zoo.

Recently my A and R went away for 4 days, unfortunately they left in a hurry and did not tell me where they were going so I was very worried. My neighbors did come over and take care of so I was pretty sure that someone had talked to my A, fortunately they finally came home on Saturday because I was getting really close to calling the milk people to see about getting my A on the back of a carton.

This is the part where I need your help. It seems that my A and R went off on some kind of safari and came back with an exotic creature. I am pretty sure it is a swaddlepotimous. Basically it eats and sleeps and poops and screams. I have not really gotten a good look at it but is seems to sleep in 3 hour shifts and then scream for a while. I am pretty sure it is bald and it smells kinda funny. It is also pretty small and seems to like to be carried around. My A is currently keeping it in this big white cage in my new room. I can’t wait to get my room back.

I am wondering what the proper care and feeding is for a swaddlepotimous. I want to make sure the swaddlepotious is happy and well cared for. I would really like find a way to help the swaddlepotimous cut down on the amount of screaming. The screaming is just driving me nuts. I will be asleep on the couch and all of a sudden in the middle of the night my A shows up with a screaming swaddlepotimous and sits down next to me. It is nice to see my A but the screaming is a little bit unnerving.

I am also wondering if your zoo would be interested in a swaddlepotimous. I don’t believe my A is licensed to have a swaddlepotimous and I think the Henry Doorly Zoo would be a great place for this creature. I believe you could provide an environment where the swaddlepotimous would be able to thrive. I am not looking for any compensation the swaddlepotimous would be a gift I only ask that you give it a good home. I think this would be a great addition to your collection.

Thanks you for you time and I look forward to hearing from you.

Stephen

P.S. would it be possible to get an autographed photo, maybe of one of the penguins or a lion? I am enclosing a dollar to cover return postage. If you can not provide an autographed photo please apply my dollar toward the purchase of a cup of sardines for the penguins.