ss_blog_claim=bf53c2c2a6b5e4b759eb9b46babec032 Stephen the dog: Dear Ted

Friday, May 16, 2008

Dear Ted

Stephen TheDog
17 barking RD
Barkton Wf 13243
May 15,2008

Dear Mr. Murphy,

My name is Stephen and I am 3 year old Golden retriever poodle cross. What that means is my Mom was a Golden Retrieved and my Dad was a Poodle. Some people refer to my kind as a Goldendoodle but I personally don’t like that term it seems kind of wussy to me. People don’t have nightmares about being attacked by Goldendoodles.

At this point I am sure you are wondering why the heck am I getting a letter from a dog? Well I am writing to thank you. You see as a dog it is difficult to find work. In my three years I have accomplished many things; I have taken graduate class in obedience, done some agility work and even become a canine good citizen. However even with all these accomplishments I have still be unable to find meaningful work.

I am sure as a serial entrepreneur you understand that money is needed to finance your dreams. Currently I have several great ideas in the works. I have been doing some weather work with the City of Detroit and I have almost finalized my “Nut Silo” if I could just got those damn squirrels to pay attention to the presentation. Anyway as the number one dog ODD’er (Online Digital Diary I hate the term blog) on the planet I have been able to use payperpost to generate some funds. Unfortunately most of this money has gone to pay off the seatbelt incident but that is a story for another time.

I do really appreciate the opportunity to make some money. I am excited that your companies allow dogs the opportunity to be productive members of society. While most dogs are not into the Goth lifestyle we definitely know how to write reviews of Goth Dating sites. So many people look down on dogs and not just because we walk on all fours. Can you believe I have even been told I am not allowed in a national forest because I might upset the wildlife. What is the deal with that? I am sure the guy in the orange vest with the Winchester 30-06 is much more upsetting than a well behaved dog walking calmly on his leash.

I have recently heard you called the most evil guy in the room. Ted I must tell you I see no evil in you and we dogs are good judges of character. You are a capitalist there is nothing wrong with making money. Do I firmly believe in “Nut Silo” yes but only as a product I don’t think huge Silo’s of nuts will help the Squirrels in the long run, it will only create a generation or fat lazy squirrels with crappy long term memory. However I know I can make money with this idea so what does it not matter. I am not evil for taking an opportunity and trying to make money and neither are you.

Well I just wanted to take the opportunity to thank you. I am having my birthday path in a month or so. My A (that is the guy who buys my kibble) has not given me the date yet so I am not exactly sure when it will be. I would like to invite you to SB^3 II it would be great if you can make it. SB^3 was a blast last year and SB^3 II can only be better. I would love to have Drew take a picture of you and I together. I understand if you are busy so if you can’t make it that is ok but if you can’t make it could you send me an autographed picture?



P.S. What is the deal with the cake plows? Seems like it would just get my fur all sticky.


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