ss_blog_claim=bf53c2c2a6b5e4b759eb9b46babec032 Stephen the dog: New Mailbox and I expect to be compensated Mr. Y

Monday, June 23, 2008

New Mailbox and I expect to be compensated Mr. Y

Dear Mr. Y.

We have lived across the street from each other for a while now and I feel that we have a developed a pretty good relationship. I really appreciate the fact that you never rat me out for barking at night. I am pretty sure you can hear me when I go on one of my barking rampages because I often hear the screaming that comes out of your house. What is up with all the screaming? Do you really enjoy horror movies or something?

Anyway I am writing you to discuss property values. As you know recently the real estate market in our area has taken a major hit. This being the case we need to do whatever possible to preserve our property values. Yes I am well aware that my A is bringing down the value of your house by not cutting his grass. There is not much I can do about that he does not really enjoy cutting the grass. I guess I could pick up my bones so he does not run over them with the lawnmower. Have you ever seen a lawnmower hit a nice big cow femur. Believe me it is something to see. Pulverized cow femur is very tasty.

As you may have noticed I recently had my A replace our mailbox. This is located across the street from our house so it adds zero value to our property. The old one did not add negative value to our house either it was kind of just there for the mail. However it is on your side of the street and I believe it is a factor in you home’s value. That being said I replaced the mailbox on Sunday. I checked and since Saturday the value of your house has appreciated $75. Now the only thing that has changed in regards to your homes value is my new. It cost me about $20 to install the new mailbox. Yes my A is also cheap but then again the mailbox is not in our yard so who cares what it looks like oh wait you do J.

I don’t think it is fair that we spent $20 on a mailbox to increase the value of your home. My A could have bought me 6 cow femurs with that or 3 stuffed squeaky toys. I would not being you to suggest you give me the $75 your home has appreciate even though I my data shows that the mailbox upgrade is responsible for the entire amount of the appreciation. What I am suggesting is that you cut a check to me Stephen theDog for an amount no less than $10. I think it is only fair that I be compensated.

Please do not feel I am singling you out I am also going to ask our letter carrier for a similar amount. She benefits from this as well. In fact the only one not benefiting from this is me this me. Please enjoy the $65 of equity my efforts have placed into you home.

Sincerely you Neighbor

Stephen the Dog

P.S. You need to get a pet. My naming system does not work with you people who don’t have pets.


At June 26, 2008 at 11:15:00 AM EST , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Stephen -

Your new mailbox looks great. You must have been exhausted from laying about in the shade watching your A install it. You know what they say about a dog's work never being done and all.

I must, however, respectfully deny your claim for compensation. Among other legal and factual reasons, you are what is known in the law as an "officious intermeddler." Being of the genus canis, that is probably not a term you are familiar with, so let me provide you with an explanation. According to Black's Law Dictionary, an "officious intermeddler" is one "who confers a benefit on another without being requested or having a legal duty to do so, and who therefore has no legal grounds to demand restitution for the benefit conferred." Moreover, I doubt that, even with the aid of expert testimony, you would be able to prove that you actually conferred any benefit whatsoever. Thus, consider your claim for compensation denied.

I certainly hope this does not change what I consider to be an otherwise healthy and respectful relationship (and I will continue to overlook your barking).

P.S. As always, nothing contained herein shall be construed as a waiver of any rights and defenses, all of which are expressly reserved.


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