ss_blog_claim=bf53c2c2a6b5e4b759eb9b46babec032 Stephen the dog: It is just not Possible

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

It is just not Possible

Stephen TheDog
7 Woof Lane
Barkington, DE 60027

Jan 13,2009

Kraft Foods Global Inc
Global Customer Relations
1 Kraft Court
Glenview, IL 60025

Dear Jelloteers,

I hope it is ok that I refer to you as Jelloteers. I would assume that working for the Jello food group of Kraft Foods is fun and that you guys go by some cool nicknames like Jelloteers. Please let me know if there a name such a Jigglers or The Great Gelatinous Guys that you would prefer.

Anyway my name is Stephen, I am a 3 yr old golden retriever poodle cross. Mom was a golden retriever and dad was a poodle. Kind of like West Side story but with Dogs, although they were from different sides of the tracks they were still great parents. My Mom raised me till I was 10 weeks old then I was adopted by my A and R and have been living with them ever since. They are pretty cool and really love Jello. Jello pudding pops are my A’s favorite. Yesterday my A made some orange Jello and let me tell you it was good. You guys make a fine product.

After enjoying the orange Jello I began to wonder about one of your marketing slogans “There’s always room for Jello”. I just don’t get it. How can there always be room for Jello? This seems like a pretty bold claim. There must be some circumstances where there is just no room for Jello.

Jello obviously takes up some space, it has to exists or else you would not be able to sell it. My Pal Drew keeps telling me I don’t understand marketing but I am pretty sure no matter how good your marketing campaign is you can’t sell nothing. Based on the fact that you are selling Jello it has to be something and thus it must take up space therefore there can not possibly always be room for Jello.

Don’t get me wrong I love your product but I just don't believe that "there is always room for Jello". Perhaps a better slogan would be “You can generally make room for Jello” or perhaps “There’s almost always room for Jello” I just feel the current statement is a little too bold for this litigious society.

Could you please have one of your Jelloteers explain how there can always be room for Jello. It just does not make sense to me and I would really like to understand the physics behind it.

I look forward to your response.



Stephen The “I love Jello” Dog

P.S. would it be possible to get an autographed photo of the Jelloteers?


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