ss_blog_claim=bf53c2c2a6b5e4b759eb9b46babec032 Stephen the dog: 1-800-flowers or 1-800-alonetime

Saturday, March 8, 2008

1-800-flowers or 1-800-alonetime

Dear Mr. McCann,

I recently received you mailing congratulation me on my 1st order from 1800flowers. I really appreciate your following up on the order and the 15% coupon for savings on my next order. Unfortunately I am not sure there will be a next order.

Let me explain. You see I am a dog, up a real honest to goodness dog, Canis familiaris, man’s best friend. My Mom was a golden retriever and my dad was a black standard poodle. I never meet my Dad and shortly after I was born my Mom left fortunately when I was 9 weeks old I was adopted by my A and R. Those are the people who feed me and take me to my Doggie daycare. I really like them mostly because they feed me.

Sorry I am getting off track here. We dogs aren’t really known for out attention spans so you will need to indulge me a little bit. Anyway as a dog I don’t have a job and spend a lot of time at home. I am not a slacker, I have been looking for a job and I also have been making money on the internet. I have the #1 rated Dog blog. I am pretty proud of myself.

Last week I was home alone and got a little bored. I am sure you have been bored, well for a dog it is worse than you can imagine, I don’t have opposable thumbs so I can’t go outside. Well the boredom got to me and I started looking for things to do. I grabbed a drink of water, stared out the window for a while and even barked at a squirrel but none of this helped. None of this worked so, I went into the other room and found ball of yarn. Yarn is so much fun you can chew it and tie it in knots. Well I started playing with the yarn and kind of got carried away. Yes it happens sometimes we dogs lack impulse control. I ended up chewing up the sweater my R was working on. Once I came to my senses I realized I was in big trouble.

In an effort to get into my R’s good graces and prevent some serious alone time I decided to send her some flowers at work. Flowers at work are worth big points with the ladies. I am sure as the CEO of a flower delivery company you are well aware of this fact. I picked out a nice tulip arrangement placed my order and breathed a deep sigh of relief knowing that 1-800-flowers was going to make it all better. After placing my order and getting my confirmation I was even able to squeeze in a nap. I was so glad you guys where there and able to make things better.

Unfortunately my faith in 1-800-flowers was misplaced. It turns out that the local florist you contracted to do the delivery decided to call my R at work. (you have give the number of the recipient) This in and of itself is not such a horrible thing, maybe he was lost and needed directions, it ruins the surprise but things happen. Unfortunately this was not the case, nope he was calling to say “Hi Stephen ordered you some flowers and I know how to get to your office but we may not be able to get there today.” Basically even though Stephen ordered flowers with a delivery for today we are not going to be able to deliver them today. I am sorry but not only does that ruin the surprise but well it just sucks. That is like telling a 3 year “I bought you an ice cream but you are not going to get it today” Sorry but it does not work for 3 year olds and it does not work for women. I am sure you understand this. Basically your local delivery guy totally messed this up. I would really have not placed the order than have had this guy call to say he was not going to be delivering flowers.

My R called my A to tell him know about the local delivery guy’s call and my A then called your offices. Basically 1-800-flowers gave us a lot of lip service and said you guys don’t control the local delivery guys. I am sorry but this is unacceptable. I paid for a service I should not have to hound people to get the service I paid for, no one should be calling my R to tell her she is not getting flowers today. Really just call me you have my info and tell me I am sorry that you can’t do the delivery today. I would be ok with that. They local guy calling my R cost me huge points. The fact the 1-800-flowers says they are not responsible for the local delivery guy, a direct quote from Beth I might add, is complete crap. You are responsible for the vendors you hire to fulfill your service. I did not hire the local guy I hired 1-800-flower and you decided to subcontract. You are responsible and I expect you and all your contracts to act in a thoughtful professional manner. I feel that my order was not handled in a thoughtful or professional manner. For this reason I probably will not use 1-800-flowers again.

When you send flowers to women at work you expect big points. When I sent flowers with 1-800-flowers your deliver lost me points and only accentuated the fact that I had done something bad and was trying to manipulate my way out of it. Sure I chewed the sweater but I was sorry and tried to make it better and you people messed up my attempt at redemption. If the flower deliver people can’t figure out how to handle redemption I weep for the prison systems.

As a CEO I am sure you are very busy. I would be willing to use 1-800-flower in the future however before I can consider doing that I will need an apology and an autographed picture.

I am willing to meet you half way and try to repair our relationship. I know it is naive but my Mom was a Golden retriever so I am full of love and forgiveness.

I look forward to hearing from you. I will assume no response means you do not want to do business with a dog.

I would recommend a prompt response since I currently have a lot of along time to research florists.



At April 8, 2008 at 4:52:00 PM EST , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hah, this is funny. I wonder if Stephen the dog will appreciate the new line 1-800-flowers just launched with Martha? I just saw it and they're all really pretty designs. Martha can make Stephen feel better, yes?

At April 8, 2008 at 4:53:00 PM EST , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hah, this is funny. I wonder if Stephen the dog will appreciate the new line 1-800-flowers just launched with Martha? I just saw it and they're all really pretty designs. Martha can make Stephen feel better, yes?


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