ss_blog_claim=bf53c2c2a6b5e4b759eb9b46babec032 Stephen the dog: December 2008

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

What is wrong with this picture?

There is something wrong with the picture above can you tell what it is?

No it is not the aliens hiding in the cloud on the left. Yes this is a little bit disturbing but you have to look really close to see them, don’t worry they are peaceful.

It is not the fact that the photo does not adhere to the rule of thirds. True the Palm tree should not be in the center of the photo but this is not what is wrong with the picture.

It is not even the fact that the image is cropped wrong. Nope the single biggest issue with this picture is that I am not in it. While I am sure you are thinking, Stephen are you so self centered that you think a picture without you in it has issues? It is not that I am egotistical. You see the issue is that my A took this picture in St Croix a couple of weeks ago and as I have pointed out I am not in the picture.

Do you know why I am not in the picture? Well I will tell you it is because I did not go to St Croix. Instead I got left back here to freeze my butt off in the snow. I was a good dog all year and my A and R go ahead and leave me with N and G to go to ST. Croix. (Not that I did not have fun I like it at N & G’s don’t tell my A I like it there). I would have had so much fun in St Croix. I mean come on I love the beach, I could have gone diving with them. I am sure you know there are dogs out there that can scuba dive. I would have given that Bat fish my A saw on the pier dive a run for its money. I hear bat fish are fun to chase. It would have been nice to meet the beer drinking pigs as well. I am so happy to hear they are now only drinking Non Alcoholic beers. Pigs have enough of an image problem as it is without being alcoholics.

It is so not fair that I did not get to go. They never take me anywhere cool. Sure I have been to Cape Hatteras to visit my pal Daytona a couple of times but that is about the extent of my travels. I am a part of this family and I should be treated like and equal. Seriously once all my plans start to come together and I am a millionaire they are going to be begging me for money. When they ask if they can swim in my new in ground I am going to say no, bet you wish you took me to St Croix don’t you. Sometimes it is tough to be a dog. I have been working hard to get the world to treat me as an equal and yet apparently I am not equal even in my own family. It is so sad.

I think I am going to go use my A’s credit card to order a side of beef. That will at least make me feel a little bit better.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008


Recently I received the following email from B at computer
As you probably remember I took their skills assesment back in November


I do appreciate your interested in taking our entrance exam, with you have done 16 times in the past year. However, it is exactly that, and entrance exam. Please refrain from testing your stills on our website. If you do wish to test your skills, feel free to go to, per they have test there for skills purposes. Also, In the recent months, I have had my identity stolen, costing me thousands of dollars. In my search of finding the culprit, I came across your blog page, containing my personal information such as email address, place of employment and phone number. I would greatly appreciate you removing my information from your blog page. Thank you in advance, and good luck with everything. Have a great holiday season.

My response

Dear B,

I did not realize I had taken your entrance exam 16 times in the past year. Actually it was not me taking the exam but rather my loyal and dedicated readers. I hope they did well as you may or may not know the average IQ or my ODD readers is well above the mean. Normally I don’t adjust content but it is the Holiday season and I am a reasonable dog so I have removed the link to skills assessment. This should prevent my readers from taking your exam anymore.

I would like to point out that your commercials call it an online skills assessment and not an entrance exam. Your web site calls it an online skills challenge. Personally I like to be challenged everyday and don’t feel that taking a challenge multiple times should be an issue. However I am a reasonable dog so I have removed the link. I do think you should have a talk with your marketing dept. There seems to be a mixed message here. I bet those marketing people get paid by the number of people who take the challenge and I bet your comp is based more on how many people you can get to sign up to take your courses. Personally I find the terminology confusing.

I am sorry to hear about the theft of your identity. That stinks, I hate identity thieves. I do need to make a point here. All the information on my ODD was provided by you after I took the online challenge. Perhaps if you have an issue with this you should not send anyone who takes the skills challenge your contact info. I don’t want to be confrontational but I want to make sure that you are aware that I in no way had anything to do with your identity theft. I only published information that was already in the public domain. Since I am a reasonable dog I have gone ahead and removed the information to you referenced. I feel I am under no obligation to do this and am doing it soley in the spirit of friendship.

I hope this resolves any issues you may have with me of my ODD.

I do have one question well actually two. What did you think of my ODD and would it be possible to get an autographed photo?


Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Big box of awesome

It appears that there is another contest running over at the BENSPARK. Drew is giving away a big box of awesome. I think we all have different ideas about what would be in a big box of awesome.

If I were creating a big box of awesome I would definitely put an Orange Stressball from istonish in that box. I use istonish for all my stress ball needs.

If you are looking to win a big box of absolute awesomeness be sure to enter this contest. I hope I win the only thing that could possibly make this box any more awesome would be if I got inside the box.
Be sure to enter the big box of awesome contest

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