ss_blog_claim=bf53c2c2a6b5e4b759eb9b46babec032 Stephen the dog: February 2008

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Finally a chance to Donate for SPITE!!!!

As you know I have a personality conflict with a guy in my neighborhood, Mr. Mailbox as I call him. If you have spent anytime here you know my A and I have had several runs with this guy. The guy is pretty much a jerk and has this issue with anyone walking along the grass in his front yard. Problem is the grass is not his it is the towns and should really be a side walk.

A bunch of people for the neighborhood, (Ok everyone but Mr. Mailbox) signed a petition to have the sidewalk finished. As you can see from the pictures there should be a sidewalk there. Mr. Mailbox has planted trees to force people to walk in the street. Maybe he like watching people dodge cars. When you walk on the grass Mr. Mailbox yells at you. It is so not fair to get yelled at for doing something that you have every right to do. I get yelled at enough for the things I should not be doing I am still recovering from the cracker incident. Lately my A and I have been walking on the other side of the street just to avoid this jerk. (Ok I said it, he is a jerk I am sorry but he is). We should be able to walk where we want as long as we are on public land and not hurting anything.

My A has contacted the town and confirmed this is public land but Mr. Mailbox refuses to acknowledge that fact.. Even when you point out to him that this is public property, he still claims it is his property and insists you should not walk there. I guess for him it is easier to be a jerk than find top spend 2 minutes talking to someone to get the facts strait. People who take a firm stance when they are clearly wrong really annoy me.

Late last year we send the following letter to the board of selectmen

Board of Selectmen
Town of bark
bark, AA 90210
Dear Sirs:
We are writing to express concern over the current sidewalk situation on Barking Lane. There is a lack of a sidewalk in front of 19 barking Lane, although there is a sidewalk from the intersection of Barking Lane and Cat St. and from 21 Barking Lane to the end of the street. There is a gap of approximately 25ft, where there is no sidewalk although the town owns the land.
This gap in the sidewalk forces people to walk in the street posing three safety issues:
1. Like the town as a whole, Barking Lane is a family-oriented neighborhood with a high level of pedestrian traffic. Many of the families here have small children. This gap in the sidewalk makes it difficult for parents to teach street safety to their young children, as they are forced to leave the safety of the sidewalk and walk in the street.
2. Evening sees many of our families out for walks. Recent traffic enforcement by the Woofton Police department has revealed that Barking Lane is being used as a cut-through for commuters. Unfortunately, those commuting through the neighborhood are often exceeding the speed limits. Coupled with the fact that Barking lane runs east to west, this creates a dangerous situation at sunset. Further, since there is a sidewalk for much of the street, drivers are not expecting to see people in the road. In essence, this area is an auto/pedestrian accident waiting to happen.
3. Just as the evening commute is a dangerous time for families walking, children walking to their assigned bus-stops must walk in the street during busy-morning commute times. Currently there are several children from kindergarten to Middle School who live above 19 Barking Lane and get the school bus at the intersection of Barking Lane and Cat Street. These children are forced to walk into the street to cross the gap in the sidewalk. This is simply not safe. Children should be provided a safe path to get to school or the school bus-stop.
Adding a 20-30’ section of sidewalk would rectify all of these issues. Obviously we are well aware of the town’s financial constraints, but feel the safety of our children is priceless. We also believe the remedy is of minimal expense because the town already owns the land in question. In fact, we are recommending an inexpensive stop-gap measure to be implemented in the event that the sidewalk can not be extended in the near term. Currently the area where the sidewalk should be is blocked by several small trees and some large rocks. Removing these impediments and installing a gravel or sand pathway until a permanent sidewalk can be installed would be an adequate solution.
We thank you for sharing our concern in this matter.

We presented this letter along with 100 signatures from residents on the street. Currently we are getting ready to go back to the board to follow up and see what we can get done. In the process of getting ready for this meeting we have gotten some rough cost estimates, from the head of the DPW. We have also determined that is it possible to donate money specifically for this project. Now I am not asking for money, at least not yet.

What I am asking for is support. If we can not get the town to fund this we may end up trying to raise the money ourselves. I am trying to get a feel for if people would be interested in donating. Hopefully it will not come to that but if it does it would be nice to know you are behind me. I know there are a ton of great causes out there but this cause is unique. How often are you given the opportunity to donate to a cause that stands up for the little guy and basically says screw you to a huge jerk. How often can you get a tax deduction for telling a huge jerk to go to heck? Hey Jimmy I just gave $5 to plow under the jackasses front lawn on 19 Barking lane. I

What I am asking today is that you let me know if you would be willing to donate if the need arises. You can donate as much or a little as you want and again I am not asking for any money today. I really just want to know if you would be possibly interested in donating for SPITE.

You don’t often get to go around and say “Hi I am taking up a collection for SPITE” I think it would be awesome if we could get people from all around the country or world to agree to give a few dollars if needed and show this guy what can happen when nice people band together against the jerks in our lives.

I would love to write a Dear Mr. Mailbox letter about how we were all able to band together and raise the money to plow under what he thinks is the first 6 feet of his front lawn.

Please let me know if you might be interested in supporting this cause. Drop me an email at stephenthedog(at) or stick a comment on this post. Hopefully the town will step up and take care of the issue but if not it would be nice to say we have a ton of people who are ready to back this project in the event that fail.

Would you donate for SPITE?

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Keep the change? No thanks

Dear Bank of America,

Hi my name is Stephen and I am a dog, a 3yr old poodle golden retriever cross, to be more specific. I am sure you are thinking “I am a big important bank guy who makes money all day why am I getting a letter from a dog”

Well I have been making some money lately writing internet posts about all kinds of neat things. I wrote one about the best Goth Dating sites on the web that was worth $5. I totally sold out and wrote something about how an oil company was not polluting. Made $15 on that but did not feel real good about myself. However the way I figure it is that if someone is willing to pay me I will write about it. I put all these posts in pink so people can tell that I am getting paid for them. I also figure if some big company’s marketing plan includes having a dog write stupid posts for them then they are really in trouble. Would you take the recommendation of a dog on which pair of shoes to buy? FYI I don’t wear shoes.

I am currently looking for a place to store all my loot. Keeping it in the mattress of my dog bed is not working and burying it in the back yard is such a pain what with the ground freezing and all, so I was thinking of using a bank. I heard one of your radio commercials and was intrigued.

What is the deal with this keep the change program? Does it really work?

I believe the premise is that you round up to the nearest dollar on purchases made with you bank cards and transfer the difference to my savings account. Basically if I buy a bone for $3.29, it is a really nice buffalo leg bone, you will debit my checking account $4 and transfer $.71 to my savings account. I know I am a dog but I don’t get it how is that useful or saving me money. It seems silly to me aren’t you just moving money around in my accounts. It is not like I have to carry the change around. It is an electronic transaction if you did nothing the $.71 would still be in my checking account it would not be lost in the cushions of my couch like your commercial says. Since the wide acceptance of Debit and Credit cards that change problem as we know it has really been minimized.

How is moving money between my accounts helping me save money? I can still spend it from my savings account. I can always move it back. Let for a min say that I believe this is a good idea because it gets money into my savings account. Would it not make more sense to just move $100 a month into my savings account? Why do you want to do a ton of transactions that are less than a dollar? Is some executive at Bank Of America being comp’d on the number of transactions the bank does. It seems to me like you would not want to do such tiny transactions. Are you trying to create noise so people will forget the huge fees you charge them? Hey Betty I have all these cool transfers from my checking to savings account for less than a dollar. So many in fact I almost didn’t see the $15 month fee BOA charged me.

I also wonder how you can even state that this is patent pending. What are you patenting? The stupidity of the American public! I don’t think you can patent that. There is nothing here the whole thing seems to be a silly idea. It just seems to me that you are preying on people who are not too smart. By the way how are your sub-prime mortgages working out?

If you really want to help people save money I have several ideas I would be happy to share.

Turn your heat down to 56 in the winter. If you get cold you can get a nice sweatshirt at the Salvation Army cheap or go hang out at a friend’s house. Why should you be the one to pay for heat?

Stop buying toilet paper. Fast food restaurants will allow you to go in and grab as many napkins as you want. This is also true for condiments. You could save at least $15 a year on catsup alone never mind what you could save on ketchup.

Cut your electric bills by buying a UPS. Take the UPS with you to work and change it every morning. When you leave to go home for the day take the UPS with you. You now have free power. You can probably also drop that gym membership since you will be lugging around a big heavy UPS.

Instead of buying those silly pay per throw trash bags dump your trashing in small quantities. Gas stations, Super Markets etc all have trash cans outside as long are you dump small quantities you are fine. You can also take a certain about of trash to work. My A recommends coming in early if you are going to do this.

Don’t buy bottled water. Get one or two bottles and fill them up in any office building most have water coolers.

There are tons of things you can do to save money. Any one of these will actually save money and not just hide it from stupid people and make them think they are saving money.

As you have probably figured out I will not be depositing my bone money with your bank.

However would it be possible to get an autographed photo?


Saturday, February 9, 2008

Answers to quesitons about Free T-shirt Contest

Several people have been asking me about the T-shirts I am giving away. I get questions like what does it look like? How do you know my size? Is it cotton or a poly blend? Well does it really matter it is a free t-shirt! I actually have a whole box of assorted T-shirts in various sizes and colors. I got a deal from one of my sponsors and now I have a plethora of T-shirts my R wants out of the house. They are all 100% cotton T-shirts and I assure you are not only stylish but are also very comfortable. They are also new and not used. I would not be giving away a used T-shirts what do you people take me for.

In the picture above I am wearing one of these splendid t-shirts. I picked maroon because it goes well with my eyes but I have yellow, blue, grey etc. Really if you win you are going to get a shirt which will provide you years of enjoyment. I am sure you will be happy with it plus it is free. What are you going to do ask for a refund? I would love to see that yeah ummm “ I got this shirt from a Dog on the internet for free and I don’t like it so now I would like a refund.” Take that one to the better business bureau. Yes I know it is no Mad Gringo Hawaiian shirt but as I have previously stated I don’t believe in his slogan “Go Slow” Trust me you want to win this contest.

Well now you know what the T-shirts look like. Really I don’t know why Drew needs to know what they look like. The rest of you I can understand but I have seen pictures of Drew in T-shirts I would never wear. It is not like I am going to give away a t-shirt with silly slogans like
“I am kind of a big deal”
“Dry T-shirt”
“I do my own stunts”

Oh yeah and Drew no one has spit up on any of the t-shirts I am giving away.

Drew you are starting a -5 points for questioning me. Everyone else gets +7 points for reading this post.

I look forward to seeing everyone’s entries. Be creative I don’t want one of those form silly contests about how much you love to use Brand X widgets. This is not about marketing it is about having fun and T-shirts.

Leader Board
You 7 points
Drew -5 points

Friday, February 8, 2008

Wanna Win a T-shirt

I am going to run a contest. Everyone else is doing it so why not me. For this contest I will be giving away some sweet t-shirts. I don’t know how many prizes there will be and I don’t know what will win I just know I am going to have a contest.

I am calling it the Stephenthedog’s enigma contest or STDEC for short. Now I know is fired up to win. Why wouldn’t he be? When you live in your Mom’s basement the concept of winning a brand new , clean t-shirt is pretty sweet. That will get you out of doing laundry for another week right Jimmy?

Now as you know the point of most contests is to drive traffic to sites. This contest is not about that. Nope I don’t care read my stuff or don’t it does not bother me I am a dog I get the same amount of kibble if 1 person reads this or 100 people read it. So why you may ask am I running a contest. Well I have decided I hate all the dumb contests out there when you get you friends to vote for you every day. I never win those because I am not going to go ask my grandma to vote for me on every day. That is just dumb. Really I know you hate it when your little cousin comes over with that darn box of crap he is selling for school and you have to buy some stupid pocket fisherman or something. I don’t believe in it. The world is not about pyramid schemes sorry Am-way and Social Security but it is not. Winning or losing should be based on merit and not how many sheep you can herd into your flock. Unless of course you are a shepherd or a religious cult leader

For that reason and that reason only I give you STDEC as a gleaming ray of hope in the otherwise bleak darkness of the world.

Ok so what do you need to do to win? I know that is the question on everyone’s mind right now but I am not going to answer that just yet. Instead ask yourself this question what should I do to win? That is right how are you going to win, what separates you from the rest of humanity? Think about it. What makes you great?

Ok now that you have done that write your answer down on a piece of paper, crumple it into a ball. Now take your ball of paper and throw it in the freezer. This works better if you put it behind the frozen peas. Next time you are sad go to the freezer and open up the ball of paper.

Everyone still with me?

Ok here is what you need to do to win.

Take a deep breath and pretend you are a dog for the day. What would you do to make the world better? What bothers you? You have this one day to be a dog what are you going to do with it? Feel free to eat off the floor, crawl around, chase the mailman, chew things whatever gets you in the frame of mind. Feel free to include video, pictures and text in your posts. Send me a link to the post. My STDEC team will grade your entries and announce a winner. Entries must be in by March 1st and a winner will be declared on March 5th.

Myspace Countdown or Myspace Layouts
/* Counter set up*/ Stephen the dog: February 2008