ss_blog_claim=bf53c2c2a6b5e4b759eb9b46babec032 Stephen the dog: May 2007

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Mint Credit

If you are anything like me you are always looking for a good deal. As you probably know I have been using my A’s Amex card quite a bit lately. I think he is going to figure it out soon. There is a great new 0% interest credit card I just found yesterday.

You can get 0% on all your purchases until 2008. How awesome is that it is like getting stuff for half a year for free. You can buy stuff but and get 0% till 2008. Mint credit cards have 24 hour customer support, you can manage your account online or even via text messaging. It is so cool to see credit cards stepping up to the technology plate.

I am definitely going to get one of these cards I wonder it they have a mint taste to them. 0% and a mint taste would be over the top. Well I have to run off and sign up for one of these awesome cards hope you join me.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007


I have been thinking a lot about Mr. Mailbox lately. You have all give me a ton of support and I want to say thanks for that. I have also gotten some great suggestions.

I don’t think biting Mr. Mailbox is a good idea. Sure it would work but I am smarter than that. Do you know that you can stop your mail via In fact you only need to know your address you don’t have to log in or anything you just tell them you want your mail stopped for a few days.

Hey Mr. Mailbox have you gotten any mail lately?

No I have not stopped his mail. I thought about it, I wanted to but then I decided you really don’t want to mess with the post office. Those guys are like super heroes. Nothing can stop a mailman they go out in Rain, Sleet, Snow and the Gloom of Night and that is just to drop of the mail. Imagine what those guys could do if we gave them a job that could really motivate them. How excited can they possibly get to drop a bunch of bills in my mailbox. Imagine if they were doing something really worthwhile or exciting? I don’t want to mess with Mailman.

Unless of course he comes into my yard then he is dead. I have to protect my property and I am sure my A does not want anymore bills. I am ok against one mailman but I don’t want a whole gaggle of them coming after me. Those guys are scary in packs.
Mr. Mailbox you day will come trust me your day will come.

Monday, May 28, 2007

SB^3 Questions

There seem to be some confusing about the 1st SB^3. No it is not my 1st birthday I am actually two but it is my first SB^3 last year I did not have a party. Also some people are not sure how to pronounce SB^3.

My A calls is S B cube, some people like S B three because it rhymes and then there are others who refer to it as The S triple B. I am not sure which one is the best so I am creating the 1st ever poll on my ODD. Thanks to Scully’s J for creating Quibblo. Quibblo is an awesome site where you can create all types of polls and quizzes for your odd or website.

Quibblo is so easy even a human can do it. I was able to create a poll in about 2 mins. Scully’s J is the man over there so if you need a poll or quiz check out Quibblo.

Please take the poll your opinion matters so vote!

Saturday, May 26, 2007


In sales if you are not selling you are not making any money. The more time you can spend developing and working leads the more profitable you can be. In today’s fast paced sales environment you don’t want to have to was time learns a CRM package.

You hire people for their sales skill not their ability to use a CRM package. The time spent training people on you CRM package is time lost. There is a great
crm software out there that is simple to use and will allow you people to spend time sell and not trying to figure how the heck your lead manangment system works.

crm software is great but you don’t have to take my word for it. They offer a free 14 day trial. You should definitely check it out. You can will sell more, make more money and be happier.

SB^3 is on the way

SB^3 is coming. That is right I finally have a date for SB^3. It is June 10th. This is something you don’t want to miss. There has never been anything like SB^3 so you are not going to want to miss this.

I have sent an evite but if you did not get it drop me a line everyone is invited. Yes even you Mr. Mailbox you are invited but you will need to stay on a leash and you are not allowed in my yard. You are welcome to join the fun from the bottom of my drive way. I will even bring you out a cheese burger.

SB^3 is going to be great I am so excited. If you have any ideas for SB^3 please let me know. I was going to have some sky writing but it I can not guarantee the weather and they won’t let me fly the plane so it does not seem as much fun as I thought is was going to be.

Looking forward to seeing you at SB^3

Tuesday, May 22, 2007


Pay Per Post
Man I love pay per post. I have been writing paid posts for the last couple of months. I don’t know the exact start date but I think it has been about 2 or 3 months. The best part is I have already made more than $150 dollars. Sure that might not seem like a lot but I am a dog and there are not many well paying dog jobs out there. Even Benji never made a dime.

Pay per Post gives me the opportunity to earn money for writing about things I might write about anyway. I am going to update my ODD anyway I might as well get paid for it right?

PPP also lets me choose the opportunities that interest me. There is no one out there telling me I have to write about Alpo dog food (That stuff stinks). I can choose to write about any given opportunity or I can pass on it. I can do as many or a few ppp posts as I feel like. It is like having a job where you can work as little or as much as you want. Really I determine what I make.

I have also meet some interesting people in my work with PPP. I have been a great opportunity to expand my network.

Pay per post is a form of
viral marketing. It is a really neat concept you should check it out. Tell them Stephen the Dog sent you

Monday, May 21, 2007


Arrghhhh I learned a lesson today. You can be nice to people and try to get along but some of them are just plain jerks. That’s right I am sorry but Mr. Mailbox guy you are a jerk. I am calling him Mr. Mailbox guy because he has this weird mailbox. It looks like a wave and has some sort of hi tech security system on it. Kind of makes you wonder what he is getting in the mail. I mean if someone steals my A’s Sports Illustrated that would stink but really we don’t get any important mail. If you really want my stupid weekly coupon flyer you are welcome to it.

Anyway I took a walk with my A today. We walked all the way to Sandie’s house off leash. Once we got to Sandie’s house my A put the leash on and we went to Clyde’s. Clyde was home so I played a little bit. I don’t come back at Clyde’s house so I was kept on my leash. Then we walked home. My A let me off the leash at Sandie’s and I was doing great walking about 6 feet in front coming back every time I was called it rocked. I am so good

Our neighborhood is made up of two sections an old and a new. We live in the old section as does Mr. Mailbox. His house used to be the last one in the development when they built the new houses they extended the road but not the side walk. There is no sidewalk in front of Mr. Mailbox’s house. This is the only unbroken link in the side walk in the whole neighborhood from my house all the way to the circle past Fenway’s.

As we were walking by Mr. Mailboxes house I was 4 feet in front of my A. Mr. Mailbox came out on his porch. He must work from home I guess cause he is always home I have no idea what he does for a living but maybe it has something to do with mail. Anyway Mr. Mailbox started talking to my A about how there is a leash law in our town and he was going to call the cops. After kidnapping Clyde’s toy I am a little leary of the cops but my A just stood there and listened politely. He then put me back on my leash and was about to continue walking when Mr. Mailbox decided to mention that according to town law dogs are not allowed on other people property either. I am pretty sure this incensed my A because he just said yes Sir and we started to walk away.

I am really confused by this my A and I have gone out of our way to talk to this guy. We wave when we see him and say hi. We have commented his house looks nice when he was painting it. We ever said the new mailbox was cool even though it looks really stupid. You know neighborly stuff. Well I think Mr. Mailboxes’ actions were just wrong. If he has a problem he could have politely said to my A that he prefer I wear I leash when I walk by his house. I would have complied and I am sure my A would have said no problem and put me on my leash. However this was not the way he decided to handle it. Instead he cites all the laws and is basically a jerk and threatens to call the cops.
I hope our police have better things to do than capture a GoldenDoodle out for a walk. Oh no the GoldenDoodle is walking again not the GoldenDoodle. “All units” “All Units” “Be advised there is a GoldenDoodle out taking a walk” “All Units please respond we have a 14-30 in progress”

The leash law is designed to keep dogs under control and I understand that. I certainly was not out of control and really was within one leash length of my A. So what is the issue?

Secondly the argurment that I can no be anywhere on his lawn is crap. The fact the everyone else has a side walk running through their front yard means there is an explicit right of way in his front yard. I am thinking of writing the town to get this cleared up. Kids walk by this house to go to school and should not have to walk in the street.
I know side walks are expensive but maybe we should just take a bulldozer and rip up 2 feet of grass so everyone knows where they can walk. I think this would clear up a lot of confusion. Plus it would certainly make me feel better.

Really we live in a neighborhood. We are supposed to be a community don’t pull out your rules on me pal. Rules are to maintain order not be followed to the letter. Have you seen some of the laws. You can’t walk a pig wearing a hat on Sundays in my town. Hatless pigs are ok though.

I will admit if I was peeing in his yard or running wild through it he has a legitimate grip but whether or not I am on a leash is irrelevant. Maybe I was on a leash and he just has bad eyesight. I was certainly within 10ft of my A. Maybe we were using my new monofilament leash. Suck it up be an adult don’t be a jerk.

Oh yeah Hey pal I noticed your grass is always green. Hmm we have a water ban every year and are not allowed to water yet somehow while everyone else’s grass is burned out yours is a lush green? Do you have a sprinkler system? Is someone sending you water through the mail?

Really you want to be knit picky on town rules and law lets go. I am sure you would not appreciate having your every action measured against the law. Here is an idea lets focus on living and not on being a jerks. I am sorry but your behavior today was that of a Jerk. I am not sure that I will give you an opportunity to redeem yourself.

I know every neighborhood has that one house you stay away from. I was hoping my neighborhood was different. Sadly it is not. Don’t expect me to say hi to you next time I walk by your house. I am also instructing my A to not acknowledge you.

In some ways I feel bad for you but really I have neither the time nor energy to waste on the likes of you. Please have a good life I will let you know how I make out with the sidewalk project.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007


There is an interesting new rewards program out there. It is called utango rewards program and the concept is simple. You get rewards for spending money online. People don’t let me into most stores so I do most of my spending online.
Utango lets you earn lifetime savings money. Utango is only open to US residents who are single and getting married, engaged or married less than three years. And in order to stay in good standing you need to remain married. Yes I don’t qualify but you might. Just because I can’t take this opportunity does not mean you should not. I wish I was married so I could sign up.

Membership is absolutely free. That is right it does not cost you anything, not one dime to sign up and you can earn money buy just spending money. You are going to spend money anyway right? Why not get paid for it. Utango will let you earn up to a million dollars over your lifetime. That is a heck of a lot of money. Imagine what I could do with a Million Dollars? Imagine what you could do with that kind of money?
uTango Rewards Program has many options for participants and you should check into whether or not you qualify for the program. I really wish I qualified but since I don’t I wish you the best of luck. If you qualify for Utango definitely sign up.
Cause hey free Million Dollars.
I give this site a Stephen rating of 8

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Ask Stephen


Today my ODD is stressing me out. I want write something that you people will find interesting but I just can not think of anything. It was a really quiet day today. I took a walk with my A, played with Fenway and took a nap. Nothing too exciting certainly nothing you people would really be interested in.

So I am sorry.

I am going to start a new feature on my ODD. As you all know I am home during the day and am stuck inside. So I watch a lot of TV yes I can use the remote if you lick it enough the TV turns on. My A is always wondering why he can never find the remote and why it is sticky.

I watch a lots of Oprah, Dr Phil (that guy is a quack), Jerry Springer etc. Anyway none of these people are really doing anything to help others. So starting today I am going to be answering questions from my readers.

That’s right you can ask me a question and I will answer it. I will be picking one letter a week and answering. You can ask me anything you want if I choose your letter I will answer it honestly and truthfully. Need advice let me know, what to know what we dogs think of cats let me know. Want to know the best way to cook a turkey let me know, Want to know why it is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light let me know.

Stimulate me, please don’t let my intellect melt away. No wonder it is so hard to get off welfare. Sit home and watch enough day time television and you will become stupid. I am sorry but it is true Watch 6 months of Oprah and you will be lucky if you can still make oatmeal.

Anyway please send your questions to

Stephenthedog (at) gmail (dot) com

Obviously you have to use the @ sign and a real dot in my email address. I would make it easy for you but those darn spammers are after me. That’s Right Mrs. Wells I know you are a spammer. No dying woman in her right mind or even her wrong mind would offer a stranger 2 million dollars to help give her estate to charity. Just wish I was a little quicker on that. Man my A is going to be mad when he finds out I sent her his bank routing numbers.

I am looking forward to your questions.

Monday, May 14, 2007


Wow I have been talking about Drug rehabilitation a lot lately. Drugs are a very scary thing. The best way to handle drugs is to do an Nancy Regan says and just say NO!. However if you do find yourself hooked on drugs there are programs out there. Some are better than others but you definitely need to get help. There is a great web site out there that can help get you into drug rehab. is a non profit whose mission is to match the addicted with rehabilitation programs. So if you are sitting at home reading my ODD and wondering when you are going to get hi next. Give them a call, the call is free. They will be happy to talk to you and put you on the road to recovery.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Vision Quest

The Vision5k is coming up! Now you may ask what the heck is the vision 5k. Well it has nothing to do with the movie Vision Quest that’s for sure. It is a great event where sighted and blind runners join together to raise money and support advocacy, literacy, and rehabilitation programs for the blind and visually impaired.

My R’s friend C is going to run it this year blindfolded to raise money for the Carroll Center for the blind . He even has a page where you can donate money if you want.

This is a really good cause. I can’t imagine being blind. I am afraid of the dark so I am pretty sure being blind would terrify me.

I was thinking of training with my A to run it next year. I would have my A be blindfolded and I would lead him that way I don’t have to worry about being afraid of the dark. I wonder if my A is afraid of the dark? Maybe I will get one of those seeing eye dog harnesses.

Have you ever noticed that service animals are allowed everywhere? They are allowed in restaurants, trains, planes etc. Not to take anything away from these wonderful animals who dedicate their lives to helping people but what the heck? How come I can’t say go into a McDonalds? What makes me any different from a service dog? Sure they have a little bit more training in certain areas but I am every bit as smart. Is it because I don’t have a job? From what I can tell I am being discriminated against because either my education level is not high enough or I am not employed.

This is so not fair I don’t see unemployed people being barred from entering a McDonalds and obviously uneducated people are allowed in there although I think they call them managers. What is the deal I just want equality for all dogs.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

28 day Drug Rehab

As we all know the 1st step to recovering from an addiction is admitting you are an addict. This is something that largely has to be done on your own. Once you admit you are an addict it gets both harder and easier at the same time. There are a lot of programs out there to proved help but it takes a lot of work and it is never easy.

There is a new 28 day
drug rehab program in Michigan. This is an alternative to the typical 12 step programs. The program offers detoxification and social education to combat drug addiction.

If you are addicted to drugs or alcohol this program might be something you want to look into. Remember you are not just hurting yourself. Addiction has Negative effects on friends, family, school, work, and in nearly every aspect of an addict's life.

Addiction is a hard thing to conquer and fortunately you don’t have to go it alone.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

On the Lamb

Today I am in big trouble again. I went for a walk with my A yesterday. He was nice enough to come home and take me out for a walk. He even let me walk off leash and it was super cool. Oh the freedom!!

We got down to Fenway’s house and I got to play with Fenway for a while. Clyde was home too so it was an awesome day. I played with Fenway for a while then I went over to Clyde’s and played with him.

Then the problems started. My A asked me to come back and I refused I just kept running around having a good time. My A asked again and I decided to keep doing what I was doing. I found this really cool lamb toy in Clyde’s yard and was playing with it and did not want to stop. I decided I would rather play with it than listen to my A. Then I had this really great idea I would just take the toy and go home. So I took the toy and just walked home with it leaving my A at Clyde’s house.

A seemed really mad at me when I was leaving. I don’t know why I knew where I was going and sure I never let him get close than 50yrds to me the whole way home no matter how fast he ran, I am really fast, but I don’t see why he was mad at me. I went strait home I did not even walk in the street so I am not sure what his problem was. Maybe he was just hot and forgot to put on sunscreen. Being covered in black fur means I don’t have to worry about sunscreen.

Once I got home I played with Clyde’s toy for a little bit. My A got home about 5 min later and was really not happy. I got sent inside but fortunately I hid Clyde’s toy. Last night my A was going to make me bring Clyde’s toy back but I buried it so he could not find it. We ended up just taking a walk but I was on my leash the whole time. Later my A explained to me that by just taking Clyde’s without asking toy I was stealing and is doing so I had become a thief.

I am pretty freaked out now I don’t want to be a thief and I sure as heck don’t want to go to jail. I barely slept last night every time a car went by I was sure it was the cops coming to get me. This morning I dug up the toy and gave it to my A. We walked by Clyde’s house but he was not home. I wanted to just throw it in the yard and forget about the whole thing but my A says I have to apologize to Clyde.

I don’t really know why I have to apologize. Clyde has a ton of toys. I guess if it will make my A happy I will apologize. I just want to get this thing out of my yard before the cops show up. Do you think I go to jail or just Juvie I am only two? I don’t really want to go to either. Man I better get this thing back to Clyde soon.

Why do I mess up I have not even admitted the seat belt incident to my A yet and now he thinks I am a thief. I really need to start being good or Uncle Sam is going to bring me rocks for the 4th.

Monday, May 7, 2007

Bid for Prizes

Remember Ebay and of those great online Bidding sites. While now there is a new one. However this one is way cooler. The concept behind this site is radically different than other sites where you bid on prizes. In this case you want to have the lowest bid out there instead of the highest bid. It is kind of like golf in that way. The lowest score wins.

You get 20 chance to bid each day and one you bid you get an email telling you if you bid is unique or not and if someone has already bid lower than you. If your bid duplicates someone else your bid is no good and you need to try again,
I bid on the Flatscreen Viewsonic Monitor man that thing is going to look sweet in my house as soon as my A gets power out there. You can even bid on an iPhone I don’t know what an Iphone is right now but it looks cool and I am sure I want one. I am going to bit $.57.

I give
bid4prizes a Stephen rating of 6

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Steve Runner I can help you

Dear Mr. Runner,

My name is Stephen TheDog. It is nice to see that we both have usefully descriptive last names. You are a runner and I am a dog so it all makes sense.

I have been listening to your pod cast and reading your website lately, I don't have a job so I have a lot of free time. I see that you are trying to run a 4 hour marathon and I think I can help you. I run a lot mostly around the house but hey running is running right?

The first thing I noticed is that you are trying to run on only 2 legs. Look at all the animals out there we all run on 4 legs in a crouched position not that silly upright one you humans try to use. The only successful animal to run on two legs is the Ostrich and those guys are just weirdos what with the backward hinged legs and all. I urge you to give up on running upright and use all 4 legs. The transition from 2 to 4 legs should save you at least and hour over the course of a marathon. I would like to say it would be twice as fast, since 4 is twice as good as two but you are a human and you guys are not all that coordinated, even still I think it will save you an hour off your best time.

Next I see that you like to talk while you run this is good. You want to keep your tongue exposed to that air as much as possible it will help cool you off. When you are not talking you might want to leave your tongue hanging out so that you are constantly cooling yourself off. Trust me it works.

Clothing I see that you are running with a lot of high tech clothes on. I know you need something to hang that number on. I would recommend a simple collar. You spend a ton of time thinking about if you are dressed properly so I say just don't dress throw on a collar and run in your fur. That way you don't have to think about if your space age polymer bend wicking too fast or if your breathable fabric hyperventilating.

You are also going to want to add a tail. When I run I use my tail not only to balance but to store energy. I can use the tail to allow me to keep my center of gravity balanced even while only my right or left side has contact with the ground. This is very important as it allows me to go much faster with less effort since I am always balanced. I definitely recommend you get a tail and start using it on your training runs right away. It will take about a week to get used to it but once you do you will shave minutes off your times.

Steve I believe in you I think you can do it. You just need to think outside the box. Sure people might laugh at you for running on all fours with only a collar and a prosthetic tail. Probably not too much more that they laugh at you now for your goofy little pod cast. Just kidding we are laughing with you. Once you break 4 hours though no one will be laughing.

Hey its funny you have this 4 hour barrier, Roger Banniser had the 4min Barrier and Chuck Yeager had the sound barrier. The key to remember is that all barriers are eventually broken. You will probably not be knighted for running a 4 hour marathon but in your own little world the accomplishment will be just as great because it was something you had to work for.

Keep up the good work. I am going to send you a tape to listen to while you are running. I have been able to motivate the mailman to drop his sprint time from my front door to the street by over 3 seconds and I am sure I can produce the same kind of results for you.

Between the above changes and the motivational tape I will be sending you I am sure you will crack 4 hours in your next marathon.

You should have the tape in a week or so it is going to take me a while to record 4 hours of highly motivational barking.


Response from Steve Runner

Dear Stephen the Dog:

Thank you so much fot the kind words and wonderful advice. I really appreciate the fact that someone from your species would take the time to compose such an articulate and helpful message, especially in light of the fact that you: as a dog, and I: as a runner, are so at odds with each other during a typical day.

You see; traditionally speaking, your species has been known to chase me as I am out running. Were it not for the offensive growling, and baring of canine teeth, I would be most happy to run along happily with your kind, however I fear that there is some kind of offensive conflict that dogs, such as yourself, find with runners, such as myself.

As that is the case, you can understand how I might be somewhat cautious at your attempts to help me achieve a four hour marathon. I find it somewhat suspicious that you would recommend that I wear a dog collar, grow (or wear) a tail, and run with my tongue hanging out of my mouth. If I didn't know any better, I might think you were attempting to slow me down, to make me easier to catch.

So, thank you for your help Stephen. I appreciate your good intentions, but I hope you'll understand if I chose to continue with my current training schedule and technique as I seek to improve my speed, and achieve a four hour finish in a marathon.

Most truely yours.

Steve Runner

Reply to Mr Runner

Dear Mr. Runner,

I understand that you may feel that our respective kinds are at odds with each other. As you probably well know there are some bad apples out there. Your kind has Timothy McVeigh, Jack the Ripper, Rosie O’Donnell and skinheads. We dogs have Kujo and pit bulls but that is about it. I feel the human race has far more bad apples that we dogs have.

I feel you are often misinterpreting our behavior. Yes we do chase you but we are only trying to motivate you. Watch the tour de France sometime fans are always running along side the cyclists. As for the growling it is just our way of saying “go Steve go”. Steve is a rather hard name say for us dogs and often it comes out as a growl. Finally the baring of canine teeth is just us laughing at you, you have to admit you look pretty silly when you run. Humans bear their teeth all the time and call it smiling. We don’t get put off by you baring your teeth at us so why does it bother you when we reciprocate?

Steve it is in our nature to run fast and be able to take down large game. That is how we evolved. We did not need to discover fire or invent guns. We adapted our bodies to the point where we can run down an elk and kill it in a matter of seconds. Please don’t believe for one min that if our intentions were anything other than to say hi and support you that you would still alive. I certainly do not mean to threaten you but just want to point out that you are running 10min miles and have no teeth or claws. I can run about a 3min mile and have both teeth and claws. So I don’t see how you could think any of my kind wishes you ill will.

That being said I understand you reluctance to take my advice. When did you get so jaded? Did you work for an Internet start up only the President and CIO get rich while your tens of thousands of stock options were rendered worthless? You don’t run much faster than 9min miles even when training. The though of my plotting to make you easier to catch is ludicrous.

I will leave you with this one though. Innovation in sport is rare. Often those who innovate are originally laughed. What would have happened if Dick Fosbury were close minded. Steve I thought you were ready but I guess you are not.

Steve I have no vested interest in this. Go with god and run your races. You will probably break 4 hours someday. I wish you the best of luck.


P.S. that for selecting me as you featured blog of the week

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Zeiss binoculars

I have recently been thinking of getting a set of zeiss binoculars in fact I have been saving up my ppp money for just this reason. I still have to pay off the seatbelt incident but these binoculars are so cool. They will allow me to keep and eye those stupid squirrels not matter how far away they are.

I like the Zeiss Binoculars because they are well manufactured. Zeiss is a great name in lens manufacture, in fact my A bought his digital camera because it has a Zeiss lens. Zeiss’s binoculars are nitrogen filled so you don’t have to worry about fogging and even better they come with a lifetime warranty that is transferable. How often do you see a company that will stand behind its product life that in today’s throw away society.

Eagle optics has a great selection of Zeiss binoculars and they offer free financing for orders over $200. They way I don’t need all the money to get my binoculars. They also give you a 30 day guarantee. If you're not satisfied with your purchase, for whatever reason, you may return the product to Eagle Optics. For a full refund, less shipping costs. How cool it that you can pretty much try them out for 30 day and just send them back if you don’t like them.

I don’t think many people will be using the 30 day guarantee though because these things rock. Solid product sold by a solid retailer how can you go wrong with that?

Congratulations to Eagle Optics and Zeiss you have been named the Stephen team of the week.

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