ss_blog_claim=bf53c2c2a6b5e4b759eb9b46babec032 Stephen the dog: March 2007

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Waiting to hear back from United

United Airlines got my email and it going to reply. I can not wait for the answer. Hopefully they will answer all my questions about expedited boarding. I received the following response so I am sure they are working on answering my questions.

Thank you for contacting United. This automatic response is being sent to let you know we have received your e-mail.At Customer Relations, our focus is on post travel customer problem resolution, as well as comments and suggestions regarding our service. A member of our team will personally review your correspondence and respond as soon as possible. E-mails are answered in the order in which they are received, and due to current volumes our response time is greater than normal. Please note, if your message involves current or future travel such as reservations, fares, flight information or seat assignments, please call 1-800-UNITED1. Our colleagues at United Reservations are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week and will be able to assist you immediately with your travel planning needs. You may find other helpful contact information below.We value your business. Thank you for choosing United.United AirlinesCustomer RelationsIMPORTANT CONTACT INFORMATIONFor assistance with your current or future travel plans (reservations, fares, flight information, rescheduling or seat assignments), please contact one of the following United teams:· Domestic Reservations: 1-800-UNITED1 (1-800-864-8331)· International Reservations: 1-800-JETAWAY (1-800-538-2929)· Mileage Plus Award Reservations: 1-888-467-0507· International Award Reservations: 1-888-674-4680Reservation phone numbers outside of the U.S. or in Canada, may be found at by clicking on "Customer Service", "Reservations" and "United Worldwide Contacts".For assistance with baggage delay/loss reports:· Baggage Service Center: 1-800-221-6903 or via email at
We invite you to visit for United travel information, which may assist you without needing to make a phone call. Register for our free EasyUpdate customer-paging flight status service - just click on "EasyUpdate" under the TRAVEL SUPPORT section. And, for registered users, you may check your current flight itineraries online by clicking on "My Itineraries" under the PLANNING TRAVEL section.


My A’s bother is going to Italy next week. N does not really do a lot of traveling but I am going to sign him up for an International travel phone cards Hopefully he will not need it but we will at least have the peace of mind of knowing he can contract us if he needs to.

Pingo is cool because it gives us the option of buying a calling card that will work internationally. Unless you travel internationally a lot you probably don’t really have a good idea how expensive the calls are. Believe me they are expensive I once called my pen pal Chucie in Argentina and my A was none to happy with the bill. I lost phone lost couch privileges for a week. I don’t actually have phone privileges which I think made it worse.

The Pingo card allows you to pay up front and not worry about if you have the money to make the call or how much your hotel is going to tack on to you bill for the call. Next to the Mini bar the hotel phone is one of the biggest travel rip offs out there. How do they explain charging $1.50 for a local call? Sounds like Hilton is gonna need a letter from Stephen.

Hopefully N will have a great time in Italy but it is nice to know that if he runs into a problem he will have his Pingo card to call us and let us know what is going on. Does anyone know if your one phone call from Jail can be an international call? With a Pingo card it does not matter. Man that is peace of mind.

Pingo it’s the way to go!

Monday, March 26, 2007

United Airlines is Quick

It's not me your monitor is on its side. Turn it over

Dear United Airlines,

I am sure you get lots and lots of letters. I would even venture to guess that some of them are not very nice. However I bet you get very few complimentary letters from Dogs. Yup that is right I am a dog, a GoldenDoodle to be exact. You might have heard of us there was a big article in the New York Times a few years back about us being designer dogs.

So you are probably wondering why I am writing, well it certainly is not to point out how discriminatory it is that you allow those annoying yappy little dogs to ride up in the cabin while I am forced to ride with the luggage. Try spending 4 hours in the dark next to some fat guys dirty laundry. That is a topic for another time.

I am writing to point of how efficient you were on a recent flight. My A, (that is what I call my Male owner) and my R (that is what I call my female owner) recently flew from Boston to Idaho Falls through Denver.

The flight out of Boston left late but you were able to get them to Denver close to on time. That is not why I am writing. It is the Denver to Idaho Falls flight I need to point out.

The flight was schedule to leave at 11:45 with a boarding time to 11:15. My A and R reached the gate at 11:17am and were told that boarding had closed. This is amazing, how were you able to get 85 people on a plane in under 2 mins. Have you guys hired David Blane? My A even talked to the gate attendant and was told boarding was closed. Amazing since the monitors still showed boarding.

What is even more impressive is that the flight they got out on was supposed to board at 6:30 and did not board until 6:45 and then they had to stand down stairs for another 40 mins before they got on the plane. This means the 11:45 flight was 53 mins better than that later flight or 2650% quicker. That is impressive Nice job 11:45 flight.

Can you tell me how often this super expedited boarding process happens? Of the 4 flights they were on out and back only this one actually boarded at the scheduled time. Obviously I am impressed by the efficiency of your airline but I would like to know how to advise my A and R in the future so they don’t miss flights and can get home to me on time.

Is expedited boarding something we can look forward to more of in the future? Do the gate agents on the 11:45 flight from Denver to Idaho Falls know something that the rest of your staff don’t know? Perhaps you could have them give a lecture on expedited boarding so that other flights can board this quickly.

I am just so baffled as to how they got this to work. On every flight I have ever seen if they list the boarding time as 11:15 at 11:15 only 1st class, partner alliance and people with small children get to board. The normal people are usually not asked to board for at least another 10 min.

Is there some kind of seatback instruction card that explains all the gates and the times you really need to be there? It seems that gate 39C in Denver is super fast but 39B seems to have delays of at least 30 min for boarding. Are some gates better design and thus faster than others? How do you decide which flights get the fast gates and which get the slow ones?

Thanks for your time I am really impressed by this expedited boarding process and am just looking for a little clarification so that I can prevent people from missing flights in the future. It is sad but I have noticed that people tend to think the airline industry in uncaring and inefficient. There seems to be a general feeling of what will go wrong next. I think expedited boarding is a great step to making travel more enjoyable for everyone.

I would recommend pointing out expedited boarding in you commercials.

United the only airline that can board a plane in under 2 min.

United why wait in the terminal we can get you on the plane in under 2 min.

United we are fast. Now with expedited boarding

United so fast, you wont even remember how you got on board.

Keep up the good work and I encourage you to make expedited boarding a reality at all gates not just 39C in Denver.

I look forward to a more detailed explanation of your boarding processes.

Stephen the Dog

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Cisco VOIP Products

I don’t have a home phone. We don’t use them, we are a totally cellular family. However we do have high speed wireless internet. If we were ever to get a home phone we would definitely go with a VOIP solution. The days of the normal phone are over sorry Mr. Rotary dial. VOIP is really the only solution that makes sense in today’s world. The technology is still maturing but it is close enough that I would recommend it against new legacy PBX systems

One of the leaders in this field is Cisco Systems. They have done a great job creating voice products that work. You can take a look at some of Cisco’s
voip offerings
My A is actually a network engineer and works with this stuff all day. He is always telling me that Cisco has the best VOIP products out there. Think of it this way, PBX technology has been pretty static for the last 10-15 years while networks have changed dramatically over the last 5. Do you want to buy voice over IP products from a PBX vendor who is learning networking or from someone who knows networks and has the advantage of building their VOIP product from the ground up?

Cisco holds something like 70% of the VOIP today market. There is a reason for that, their stuff just works and is easy to manage. Cisco can provide you with a completely integrated network solution along with VOIP. If you are thinking about VOIP I urge you to take a long look at Cisco. It might be more expensive today but in the long run it will save you a ton of money in support costs.

I am not saying you need to buy Cisco but you owe it to yourself to take a look. Call your Cisco Rep they will be pretty aggressive if you put a decent opportunity in front of them. If you give Cisco a chance they will do what it takes to win your trust.>

Way to go Gandalf

It seems that one of my kind, a search and rescue dog named Gandalf is a hero today. Gandalf was able to find a 12 year old boy scout who had been lost in the woods of North Carolina for 4 days.

I know it is not the end of the year yet but I would like to take time out and present Gandalf with a Stephen award. I love it when we dogs can come through and prove to you humans our value. I would like to point out that in all the media coverage of this event there are lots of pictures of the searchers and of Michael but none of Gandalf. Without Gandalf and the other dedicated search and rescue dogs who worked this scene the outcome might not have been as positive. I say throw up a picture of Gandalf, he is not getting paid lets give him a little publicity. Let him have his 15 min of fame.

Note the picture is not of Gandalf I could not find one of him but if someone sends me one I will update the site with his picture.

I am sending out a huge high five to Gandalf. Nice work! It takes a ton of time and dedication to become a search and rescue dog. My A and I actually looked into it and believe me it is a long hard road. We decided not to do it because there really was not a group around here we could join for the training and to do it on our own seems too daunting of a task.

I firmly believe that search and rescue dogs should be paid a stipend. I am not saying they need to make a huge amount of money but I think working dogs should be paid. Give them the money and let them decide what to do with it. I hear there is a great idea out there just looking for investors, ever hear of Nut Silo.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Fireplaces PPP

One of the great things about being a dog is lying by the fireplace. We have a fireplace in my house and I just love to lie in front of it. I feel so warm and comfortable, I could sleep there for hours.
Recently I ran across this is site.
fireplace mantels which has some great fireplace's and accessories

If you don’t have a fireplace I would recommend putting in a gas fireplace they are awesome. You don’t get the crackle of wood or that nice smell but you get the warmth and warmth is key. Gas is cleaner than wood, there is no chopping or splitting all you get is pure fireplace enjoyment with gas. Sure it is kind of cheating but if your house did not come with a fireplace a couple hundred dollars for a gas one is a heck of a lot cheaper than trying to put in a chimey for a real fireplace.


Over the next months I will be getting paid to post updates to my ODD. I will admit I the money is a huge motivation. There really are not a lot of ways for a dog to earn money. There are definitely career dogs out there but very few of the jobs actually pay anything. Search and rescue dogs , bomb dogs, seeing eye dogs they all do great things for you people and none of them are actually paid anything.

While I absolutely respect working dogs and there are some great working dogs out there I have realized that I need to make a few bucks from time to time. I have expenses and a seat belt to pay for. As much I believe nut silo is going to land me on easy street I need to look at other options as well. For this reason I am signing with Pay Per Post. This will allow me to get paid to talk about great products. What could be more fun than that? I can’t wait till I have the opportunity to review the who wants to date a millionaire dating site. I don’t know how you humans let such ridiculous ideas existing in your society. Some days it sickens me.

Anyway that being said I had a good day today. I played with Fenway, Clyde and Joey at Lunch. My A and I are having a disagreement. He seems to think I should some when called and I seem to thing I should come when I want to. He should just be happy I showed up and give me treats. I know he is right but today I was being sort of a brat and not listening so I think he is mad at me. Maybe I will find some paper towels and decorate the house with “Snow” to make it up to him . He is always snowboarding and loves to play outside in the snow so I think decorating the house with paper snow will make him happy.
I want him to show him I am sorry

Friday, March 16, 2007

Drew's ODD

I am sure you have all heard about my attempts to raise money to pay for the “Seat Belt Incident” I am sure you can imagine it is tough for a dog to make money. I considered going west and becoming an avalance rescue until I found out those guys don’t actually get paid. They get pretty well taken care of but they don’t actually get paid any money. Running around on a slope that has recently slid looking for some guy buried in the snow is not my idea of fun.

Drew gave me the idea of signing up for pay per post. So here is my 1st ppp post. I have to review Drew’s Blog. Or as I like to call it Drew’s ODD (Online Digital Diary) I hate the term blog but that is for another day.

Over the last year I have been reading Drew’s ODD.

This is a very informative ODD, the level of detail is impressive. It used to be that you could tell how many peas Drew had on his place for dinner the night before but he has since toned it down a little. Sure Drew is still over the top with the amount of info he puts out there but if it makes him happy I am all for it. Some of it is actually quite interesting. There is even a video of him wearing an “It spreads like peanut butter shirt.”

What more can you ask for than a white guy in an “It spreads like peanut butter shirt” on the internet. I can see this ODD being as popular as say CINDY MARGOLIS was in the late 90’s. Drew has all the standard draws, Cats, what and where he eats and pictures of huge balls of twine. Imagine what you would write about and take pictures of if you were truly in love with life and America, remove all the cynicism and bad feelings and that is what Drew writes about mostly.

Of course there is also Drew’s dark side which is much more interesting. Drew Travels a lot for work and he often shares his experiences. These are some of the best post. More people really need to know who Drew is. Read his ODD study his picture and if you are even in front of him at airport security make sure to leave your keys in your pocket. We all need to help make Drew’s travel experiences more painful. Yes I admit it is cruel but the results are pure internet Gold trust me.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

St Patrick's day

St Patrick’s day is coming. I love Holiday’s Christmas was awesome I loved all the cool presents I got. I am so excited to see what I am going to get for St Patrick’s day presents. I am hoping for a remote control cat I can chase around the yard.
I am a little confused about this Holiday. St Patrick what did he really do? The common belief is that he drove the snakes out of Ireland. That is a great idea snakes, eat mice and rats and we all know that in the 14th century mice and rat’s carried fleas which spread plague. It seems that 1/3 of the population of Ireland was wiped out by plague. Was St Patrick really doing Ireland a favor by driving out the snakes?
So we have this guy who drove snakes off an island which makes him some kind of a hero. By the way St Patrick was not even from Ireland he was from Wales.
How did you people come up with the idea of dying everything under the sun green and drinking a lot. I know I am a dog but it seems weird to me. Come on in Chicago you die a river green, in Boston you crawl from bar to bar until you can’t see anymore, how does this memorialize St Patrick. Was he a drunkard who really liked green?
This is all new to me and I just don’t understand it yet. I understand Christmas and New Years but this St Patrick guy I don’t get it. From what I can tell from the dog perspective this guy killed a bunch of snakes which had the ancillary effect of possibly killing a bunch of people. OK maybe this makes him a hero but why all the green and the beer.
Really I am not against St Patrick he must have done something cool. I think you even have to perform a miracle to become a Saint. What was the miracle? Was it the snake thing? Is green beer a miracle? Does Green beer somehow taste better?
Well I am off to barking practice. I do however want to state that I have nothing against this holiday or St Patrick. I would just like a better explanation of the holiday than what I seem to be getting from popular society. It does not make sense I am sure there is a reason St Patrick is great and I would really like to know what that reason is.
St Patrick please tell your leprechaun helpers I would really like a remote control cat in tabby if possible.



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Monday, March 12, 2007


OK Allison I see that you tagged me and I am going to respond to your tag. However I refuse to tag anyone else. I simply don’t believe in it. If you want to know about me ask me I am a pretty open dog. I will tell you like it is.

Below are the top 10 Billboard songs from the year my A turned 18. At least I think this is the right year. Based on these songs I feel sorry for him take a look it is all garbage. I don’t think any of these songs have any redeeming value. The are mostly based on loud repetitive lyrics. I find it amazing to see what people like. For example take a look at the lyrics for that song “Who let the Dogs out” Oh wait! I am a dog and I find that song to be just stupid.

There is some good music out don’t get me wrong but to me is seems that people in general like loud crappy music.

Dogs hear in the 67-45,000 HZ range while you humans can only hear 64-23,000HZ. We can also hear about 4times better than you people. Even when you are whispering I still know what you are saying.

Ok imagine this. You are sitting in your living room listening to Jump Around one of your popular songs. If you want to know what it sounds like to me turn the volume all up to 4 times as loud as you were listening to it. If you are at say 4 turn it up to 16 now push the base all the way down and turn the treble all the way up. Not get another stereo and turn it up really loud with some random noise, this will simulate the wider frequency range I can hear. On an audio track I can hear lots of weird stuff you people don’t.

Personally I like the cool Jazz. People like Bix Biderbeck, Jelly Roll Morton, Louis Armstrong, Cab Calloway etc. Those people knew how to make Dog Friend music.

Too Legit To Quit - Hammer
Baby Got Back - Sir Mixx-A-Lott
I'm Too Sexy - Right Said Fred
End Of The Road - Boys II Men
Move This - Technotronic
Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen
Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana
Save The Best For Last - Vanessa Williams
Come As You Are - Nirvana
Jump Around - House Of Pain
I Will Always Love You

Friday, March 2, 2007

Stephen Room

Wow it has been way to long. I have been super busy but I am always super busy so that is no excuse. I guess the best way to say it is that unless you are a dog you can’t begin to fathom the demands on our time. There is eating, walking and the barking. We have to put in a good 2 hours a day of barking practice to keep current with it. It is a lot of work and after all that we still have to work in time to chew things we are not supposed to chew. Personally I like Kleenex they are great to shred and if you do a good job you can make it look like snow.
Lately I have been helping my A and R do some work on the basement. We are finishing the basement to turn it into a Stephen room. I am going to have a 52” TV, a pool table, a nice spot for my bowl and a quiet corner for my dog bed. It is going to rock I can’t wait till they finish my room.
We have most of the framing done. I have been really helpful with the framing. I am awesome at moving the 2x4’s around. I also like to eat the little scrap 2x4 pieces they are pretty tasty and who wants a bunch of scrap 2x4’s lying around. The only framing left is the wall where my TV is going to sit. I am still working with my A to figure out the height and size. I want it a little lower so it is at optimum viewing angle from my dog bed but A says it should be it at optimum viewing level for sitting on the couch. We will work it out but I really think it is my room and he should just do like I tell him.
Last Friday we did a lot of the electrical work. That stuff is so cool and I am really good at it. I made sure my A put in enough speed loops. For those of you who don’t know it is very important to put in speed loops in your wiring. They prevent surges. Basically what you do is before you get to an outlet you create kind of a U with the wire. This forces the current to climb uphill to come out of the outlet. The U allows the current to pool in the bottom of the U when the power is off. This not only prevents current drip, but also since when you turn the power on you are driving it uphill and pushing a standing pool of electricity you get an immediate solid steam of power and not some kind of trickle or surge stream.
I can’t emphasis it enough SPEED LOOPS ARE IMPORTANT don’t over look them.

I will keep you updated as the work progresses in the weeks to come. Perhaps next time I will describe the theory behind a 3-way switch. Or maybe we will talk about heated sub-floors. I am really pushing my A to put in a heated sub-floor. I will be so nice to be able to lie on a nice warm floor.

I can’t wait till my room is done and I can have all my pals over for a party. Joey, Fenway, Clyde, Bailey, Scoober, MAC, Kaizer, Sadie, Sandi, etc make sure you guys are around in June.

Joey you are in charge or paper bowls
Clyde you can bring the bones
Fenway you are on sticks

The rest we will figure out later.

I am on vacation for the next week so I probably will not have a chance to post an update.

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